Yep, they were right. The physical pains associated with the Taxol do eventually catch up with you on day 3. Uggghhhhh.....the weirdest thing for me, is "feeling" all of the side effects and knowing that it's the poison inside of me causing all of it.
My hands look like sausages, I have gained 6lbs in one day from fluid. My fingertips are numb, my legs are ACHING as if I had the flu. I can't sleep....Do I sound whiney yet? (I am really not complaining too much out loud, just here in blog land)
But with that being said, I am going to keep trucking along, and hope that this passes by pretty quickly.
Tomorrow is the New Year, I have high hopes for my year 2012. I know that it is going to be a long and tough year for me, but I can HONESTLY say that I am still very thankful that it is me going thru this, and not one of my boys. This whole cancer thing, REALLY is ZERO fun!
Everyone have a most Happy New Year! And take care of yourselves!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Taxol, my new friend!
Is Taxol my newest chemo friend? It's killing the cancer inside of me, and I feel pretty NORMAL!
I hope I am not speaking too soon, but today has been a good day. I have done some extra sleeping.
But on the "clothes" scale, I was wearing jeans and out running errands today! LOL, usually after my chemo's I am in pjs for days, and then I finally work my way up to yoga pants....today was a blue jean day, which I would say is small miracle in itself :)
I am finished with my rounds of the Red Devil (the Adriamycin and Cytoxin cocktail) I am so glad those rounds are behind me. The 5 days it took me to get over those drugs were miserable...
I didn't have any of the allergic reactions that 50% of patients experience with the Taxol which is a great thing. At least I had my own guardian angel there yesterday, my good friend Taft was at Duke South yesterday working, and would have been part of the emergency team if I had gotten into any trouble yesterday. Luckily, we were able to just hang out and talk and not get all serious with the medical interventions :)
The side effects of the new chemo meds are suppose to hit me on day 3 or 4 and last between 3 and 4 days. All of my at home meds have now changed. My home meds now are geared towards bone and muscle pain, and also something called peripheral neuropathy. That is tingling and numbness of the fingertips. This can be permanent in some cases, so I have to stay on top of the 4 vitamins that they have asked me to take to try to combat it. Alot of diabetics experience this. If the neuropathy becomes unmanageable they are going to stop the Taxol early. If it gets to the point where I can't put my earrings in or clasp my jewelry, they want to know. But hopefully, I can get thru these 4 rounds without that happening, so the Taxol can do it's job....
So my thinking right now is, I can handle the physical pain alot better than the miserable aspect of what the Red Devil was. I will get back to you on Saturday or Sunday, if that changes. I hope that I am not a total idiot for thinking that way....
But I have felt great today after my newest Chemo cocktail which I started yesterday. I will have a total of 4 rounds of the Taxol, one down only 3 more to go! Come on February 8th, that will be my last day of chemo treatments. Go ahead and do a cheer, because I sure am!
Once, I am done with the chemo part of this journey, I am moving on to radiation. I am thinking I am starting radiation by March, that will last for 6 weeks. I plan on doing my radiation at Duke Raleigh to be closer to home and to save me from having to drive to Duke 5 days a week.
In February, I have to make some BIG surgery decisions, and I am researching my options. I have bought some books, and I am hoping that they will make a light go off as to which path I need to take...my surgery list is a big mouthful...
Double Mastectomy
Axcillary Lymph node surgery
Hysterectomy
Removal of Ovaries
Reconstruction surgery-which may take a few surgeries (I am unable to do implants, so I will have to have the tissue surgeries done, which are more involved and take more than one surgery day to complete)
So it looks like the year 2012 will be filled with lots of anesthesia and hospitals for me. I cannot wait till all of this is behind me.
A big thank you, to Uncle Eric and Uncle Steve for spoiling and taking care of the boys yesterday while we were at Duke. The twins turned 8 yesterday, and they had a great day, filled with movies, pizza, ice cream, and Kanki.
I love getting all the little cards and trinkets from everyone, it really makes going thru this so much easier! Yall have really spoiled me!
I am so LUCKY to have each and everyone of you!
I hope I am not speaking too soon, but today has been a good day. I have done some extra sleeping.
But on the "clothes" scale, I was wearing jeans and out running errands today! LOL, usually after my chemo's I am in pjs for days, and then I finally work my way up to yoga pants....today was a blue jean day, which I would say is small miracle in itself :)
I am finished with my rounds of the Red Devil (the Adriamycin and Cytoxin cocktail) I am so glad those rounds are behind me. The 5 days it took me to get over those drugs were miserable...
I didn't have any of the allergic reactions that 50% of patients experience with the Taxol which is a great thing. At least I had my own guardian angel there yesterday, my good friend Taft was at Duke South yesterday working, and would have been part of the emergency team if I had gotten into any trouble yesterday. Luckily, we were able to just hang out and talk and not get all serious with the medical interventions :)
The side effects of the new chemo meds are suppose to hit me on day 3 or 4 and last between 3 and 4 days. All of my at home meds have now changed. My home meds now are geared towards bone and muscle pain, and also something called peripheral neuropathy. That is tingling and numbness of the fingertips. This can be permanent in some cases, so I have to stay on top of the 4 vitamins that they have asked me to take to try to combat it. Alot of diabetics experience this. If the neuropathy becomes unmanageable they are going to stop the Taxol early. If it gets to the point where I can't put my earrings in or clasp my jewelry, they want to know. But hopefully, I can get thru these 4 rounds without that happening, so the Taxol can do it's job....
So my thinking right now is, I can handle the physical pain alot better than the miserable aspect of what the Red Devil was. I will get back to you on Saturday or Sunday, if that changes. I hope that I am not a total idiot for thinking that way....
But I have felt great today after my newest Chemo cocktail which I started yesterday. I will have a total of 4 rounds of the Taxol, one down only 3 more to go! Come on February 8th, that will be my last day of chemo treatments. Go ahead and do a cheer, because I sure am!
Once, I am done with the chemo part of this journey, I am moving on to radiation. I am thinking I am starting radiation by March, that will last for 6 weeks. I plan on doing my radiation at Duke Raleigh to be closer to home and to save me from having to drive to Duke 5 days a week.
In February, I have to make some BIG surgery decisions, and I am researching my options. I have bought some books, and I am hoping that they will make a light go off as to which path I need to take...my surgery list is a big mouthful...
Double Mastectomy
Axcillary Lymph node surgery
Hysterectomy
Removal of Ovaries
Reconstruction surgery-which may take a few surgeries (I am unable to do implants, so I will have to have the tissue surgeries done, which are more involved and take more than one surgery day to complete)
So it looks like the year 2012 will be filled with lots of anesthesia and hospitals for me. I cannot wait till all of this is behind me.
A big thank you, to Uncle Eric and Uncle Steve for spoiling and taking care of the boys yesterday while we were at Duke. The twins turned 8 yesterday, and they had a great day, filled with movies, pizza, ice cream, and Kanki.
I love getting all the little cards and trinkets from everyone, it really makes going thru this so much easier! Yall have really spoiled me!
I am so LUCKY to have each and everyone of you!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Just when you think you have your shizzle figured out
Hello all,
I don't have alot of time, but I thought I would give yall the basics of what I found out this week.
I had genetics testing done a few weeks ago to see if I was positive for the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene.
And lo and behold I tested positive for the BRCA2 gene.
So what does this mean...basically, 3 of my exon's are replicated on my gene chain. This is hereditary and was passed down to me. Those 3 little cells is what has caused my cancer.
LONG STORY short...I am skipping all of the genetics mumbo jumbo for now and actually maybe forever, it does not make for good fun reading...
If I continue on my same treatment plan knowing my genetics results, my breast cancer will have a 50% chance of coming back. Even after all of this CRAP.
The good news in all this is there always a plan B. The plan B a double mastectomy which will decrease my chances of the cancer coming back by 90%. I have questioned why the heck we didn't do this in the beginning.
But with the information I had then, the treatment plan we chose then was the correct path for me then.
The best I can sorta get from the docs is, you don't treat a cut on your finger with an amputation. And in the scheme of things, they really try to not have to do mastectomies unless it is the last resort.
Dumb moment at Duke yesterday--
ME on phone with Duke surgery office--Yes, I want to have plastics scheduled for a consult, when I come back in February to schedule my other surgeriers. I found out my BRCA2 results and they are positive and I don't want to waste anytime getting plastics involved, so I can keep my treatment plan moving along.
Family practionioner--So you want plastics involved? You want a mastectomy?
ME-Ummmm, correct me if I am wrong, but because I am positive for this gene, I have a 50% chance of the cancer coming back, unless I get a mastectomy which reduces my risk to 90% chance of it not coming back.
FP--Yes, those numbers are correct.
ME--Yeah, those numbers make my desicion pretty clear.
Duhhh to myself!!!
So, we will work out what I need to do with my ovaries at a later date. The BRCA2 gene causes an increase in ovarian cancer. So whether, I get them removed or take medication, I need to research and figure it out.
I am sorta getting the feeling of being chopped away piece by piece...I really am taking this whole Buffy thing in stride, I definitely have had my days. But I get that she is mine to own, and I can't really change things.
And again, I am just thankful, that I am strong enough to take this on....and that it is not one my sweet little boys. Again, mommies have those super powers to get thru anything :)
I don't have alot of time, but I thought I would give yall the basics of what I found out this week.
I had genetics testing done a few weeks ago to see if I was positive for the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene.
And lo and behold I tested positive for the BRCA2 gene.
So what does this mean...basically, 3 of my exon's are replicated on my gene chain. This is hereditary and was passed down to me. Those 3 little cells is what has caused my cancer.
LONG STORY short...I am skipping all of the genetics mumbo jumbo for now and actually maybe forever, it does not make for good fun reading...
If I continue on my same treatment plan knowing my genetics results, my breast cancer will have a 50% chance of coming back. Even after all of this CRAP.
The good news in all this is there always a plan B. The plan B a double mastectomy which will decrease my chances of the cancer coming back by 90%. I have questioned why the heck we didn't do this in the beginning.
But with the information I had then, the treatment plan we chose then was the correct path for me then.
The best I can sorta get from the docs is, you don't treat a cut on your finger with an amputation. And in the scheme of things, they really try to not have to do mastectomies unless it is the last resort.
Dumb moment at Duke yesterday--
ME on phone with Duke surgery office--Yes, I want to have plastics scheduled for a consult, when I come back in February to schedule my other surgeriers. I found out my BRCA2 results and they are positive and I don't want to waste anytime getting plastics involved, so I can keep my treatment plan moving along.
Family practionioner--So you want plastics involved? You want a mastectomy?
ME-Ummmm, correct me if I am wrong, but because I am positive for this gene, I have a 50% chance of the cancer coming back, unless I get a mastectomy which reduces my risk to 90% chance of it not coming back.
FP--Yes, those numbers are correct.
ME--Yeah, those numbers make my desicion pretty clear.
Duhhh to myself!!!
So, we will work out what I need to do with my ovaries at a later date. The BRCA2 gene causes an increase in ovarian cancer. So whether, I get them removed or take medication, I need to research and figure it out.
I am sorta getting the feeling of being chopped away piece by piece...I really am taking this whole Buffy thing in stride, I definitely have had my days. But I get that she is mine to own, and I can't really change things.
And again, I am just thankful, that I am strong enough to take this on....and that it is not one my sweet little boys. Again, mommies have those super powers to get thru anything :)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Says they won't lying about this bald thing...
I lost my hair just over a week and a half ago. This coming up Friday will be two weeks now.
I have to tell you I cried like a baby that whole day. I am so glad that my SIL was here with me that night for a few hours, its amazing how she just made everything better! Thanks Sara!!! Love you tons!
Kathleen, my very sweet mama from the block, had been cutting my hair shorter and shorter that week because it just kept shedding and shedding. I was leaving my DNA all over Raleigh and Durham. It's a good thing, I AM as innocent as I look or I could be in some serious trouble.
One of the biggest pains about being bald, is my kids perception of me. I REALLY don't want to be scare of me, think I am going to die, or have any of their friends pick on them because of their bald headed mama.
When my hair was shedding and I mean SHEDDING, I was letting the boys pull it out for me. Braeden and Chase thought it was a great party trick. Braxton has been alot more sensitive to it, but I am his favorite, I think he is really worried about me. But all three boys are pretty excited about the prospect of coloring my bald head with washable markers, again what a fun party trick. I have had to tell Chaser no SHARPIES :)
Some memorable quotes
Braeden--Mom are you going to wear a wig to soccer? You probably should because it's embarrassing to be bald. I don't want any kids to pick on you.
Chase--Mom can you get a wig like George Washington? This makes me giggle.
Braxton--thinks its great that he has the longest hair in the family now.
Speaking of wigs, they suck pretty much. No matter how much they cost. They are itchy and I feel so self conscious with them on. (Memorable quote from Janele S about one of wigs, "how did you find one that had 50 million colors like your real hair." that makes me LOL :)
A big thank you to my friend/hairgirl Dana Ray of 12 years, for giving my wigs haircuts :)
I guess I should add the positive note about being bald, I can get ready in 14 minutes FLAT....
With that being said, I am pretty comfortable in my skin and have been rocking the hats and bandana's. It's just much easier that way.
Again a big thank you to Chrissy Wisler and (mama) Brenda Keen for making me the most rocking bandanas :)
Tui and Missy thanks ladies for the gifts of hats :)
Chase has specifically asked me to wear wigs to his sporting events, so I will not scar the child and comply.
I guess I should add the positive note about being bald, I can get ready in 14 minutes FLAT....
Now on to my very awesome husband and supoortive friends that just ROCK and who also happen to be bald now....
Bart shaved his head the same day, I had to shave mine. Steve and I had some concerns, but in the end it turned out awesome!
My friend Jim, had said from the beginning of my cancer journey if I lost my hair, he was going to shave his head. We shaved his head on Thanksgiving night. It really looks good! I have to say the new haircut fits his new motorcycle very nicely :)
Stone and Noah two awesome kids, shaved their heads that same night....they are both totally rocking the mohawks! Thanks to the moms! I love having their support!
And this past Sunday my friend, Anthony shaved his head in support of me. He looks awesome. Free haircuts baby! Let me know if anyone wants one, hehe!
I can really say that the support of all of yall just means the world.
Tomorrow, is chemo treatment 3. Wish me luck. I counted up my weeks, and it looks like I will finish up the chemo part of this journey on 2/8/12.
<3 to you all!
I have to tell you I cried like a baby that whole day. I am so glad that my SIL was here with me that night for a few hours, its amazing how she just made everything better! Thanks Sara!!! Love you tons!
Kathleen, my very sweet mama from the block, had been cutting my hair shorter and shorter that week because it just kept shedding and shedding. I was leaving my DNA all over Raleigh and Durham. It's a good thing, I AM as innocent as I look or I could be in some serious trouble.
One of the biggest pains about being bald, is my kids perception of me. I REALLY don't want to be scare of me, think I am going to die, or have any of their friends pick on them because of their bald headed mama.
When my hair was shedding and I mean SHEDDING, I was letting the boys pull it out for me. Braeden and Chase thought it was a great party trick. Braxton has been alot more sensitive to it, but I am his favorite, I think he is really worried about me. But all three boys are pretty excited about the prospect of coloring my bald head with washable markers, again what a fun party trick. I have had to tell Chaser no SHARPIES :)
Some memorable quotes
Braeden--Mom are you going to wear a wig to soccer? You probably should because it's embarrassing to be bald. I don't want any kids to pick on you.
Chase--Mom can you get a wig like George Washington? This makes me giggle.
Braxton--thinks its great that he has the longest hair in the family now.
Speaking of wigs, they suck pretty much. No matter how much they cost. They are itchy and I feel so self conscious with them on. (Memorable quote from Janele S about one of wigs, "how did you find one that had 50 million colors like your real hair." that makes me LOL :)
A big thank you to my friend/hairgirl Dana Ray of 12 years, for giving my wigs haircuts :)
I guess I should add the positive note about being bald, I can get ready in 14 minutes FLAT....
With that being said, I am pretty comfortable in my skin and have been rocking the hats and bandana's. It's just much easier that way.
Again a big thank you to Chrissy Wisler and (mama) Brenda Keen for making me the most rocking bandanas :)
Tui and Missy thanks ladies for the gifts of hats :)
Chase has specifically asked me to wear wigs to his sporting events, so I will not scar the child and comply.
I guess I should add the positive note about being bald, I can get ready in 14 minutes FLAT....
Now on to my very awesome husband and supoortive friends that just ROCK and who also happen to be bald now....
Bart shaved his head the same day, I had to shave mine. Steve and I had some concerns, but in the end it turned out awesome!
My friend Jim, had said from the beginning of my cancer journey if I lost my hair, he was going to shave his head. We shaved his head on Thanksgiving night. It really looks good! I have to say the new haircut fits his new motorcycle very nicely :)
Stone and Noah two awesome kids, shaved their heads that same night....they are both totally rocking the mohawks! Thanks to the moms! I love having their support!
And this past Sunday my friend, Anthony shaved his head in support of me. He looks awesome. Free haircuts baby! Let me know if anyone wants one, hehe!
I can really say that the support of all of yall just means the world.
Tomorrow, is chemo treatment 3. Wish me luck. I counted up my weeks, and it looks like I will finish up the chemo part of this journey on 2/8/12.
<3 to you all!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
So what is this Chemo thing all about
Hey yall,
I have had a ton of people ask me how my 1st chemo went. I thought I would give yall a time line of what I experienced.
I had Chemo on Tuesday, and was feeling pretty good during the treatment. As soon as Bart and I are packing up to go. A headache hits me like no other. You have to understand, I take maybe 4 Advils a year. I never get headaches...The headache is obviously medicine related, because goodness gracious they were pumping my body with all kinds of poisons.
We go home, I go to bed for a few hours. (I am able to get up that night, and have Braeden and Chaser read to me. Which for the whole chemo time, I am able to have them to that with them)
After they go to bed around 745, I hit the hay again and end up sleeping a full 15 hrs. I am guestimating that I slept around 18 hours both Tuesday and Wednesday.
Wednesday, I had to go back to Duke to get a shot to increase my WBC count.
My major symptoms that day were extreme exhaustion, and the whole time I was awake, I was nauseaus and my mouth had that watery feeling like when you are pregnant. I was able to hit the Target with Bart before my appointment to get a few things we needed. So I was up and out and about, like a living zombie I would say :)
On Thursday, the few hours that I was up, I had a few friends stop in, and I was able to visit with them for and hour or so. My major symptoms that day was more exhaustion, and the whole time I was awake, I had major stomach cramps, girls you know what I am talking about.
Never fear though, me and the girls were able to do some online shopping from my bed for some special chicks around here with birthdays, lol!
I did shed a few tears this day because even if you are only up for a few hours on Chemo the days FEEL so long, and you wonder how you will get thru them.
On Friday, I was going to have to be in full mama mode, Bart had to work. I was still feeling like crap, tired, tired.
As I was sitting in carpool, I almost lost it. You feel SOOOOOO BADDDD and SOOOOO tired. I wasnt sure how in the world I would get thru entertaining 3 boys with the rain outside....I appreciate the offers from Roger and Tui to go get the kids, but I really feel like if I can do it, I NEED to do it.
Had offers from neighbors, that they would pick the boys up food for me that night. Was glad about that, I couldn't even imagine where the energy was going to come from to clean the kitchen if I did cook.
So lets fast forward to around 6 pm.....
For whatever reason, I am not complaining, it was like a switch! Seriously, some of yall probably saw my facebook post. It really was as if someone, turned me back into normal Marsha. It truly was craziness. I felt COMPLETELY LIKE ME. So since last Friday at 6pm, I have been feeling great and normal!
I am on an every other Wednesday chemo schedule, my next one is due on 11/16/11. I honestly am not looking forward to it. I know I will get thru it, but it's not really any fun. My brother Jeremy called me the other day, and we both laughed about how "Yeah, nobody says this chemo crap is fun"...Kinda like when you have a new baby, nobody EVER says you are going to be get lots of rest :)
I hope that my regimen does make me any sicker than what I was last week. Also, I talked to my nurse at Duke, she said that they started me out at the highest Chemo dose for me. So this means they will not increase my Chemo dose, and that usually most patients will experience the same Chemo effects each treatment, just add in more fatigue.
I really am quite ok with sleeping for 72 hours, but I am not sure how I would get my 12 glasses of water in a day that I am suppose to drink to flush the Chemo thru my body and so it doesn't sit in my bladder and damage it. TWELVE glasses, I am usually a 1 glass a day kind of girl. But I would like to tell Beth Farner, thank you for introducing me to Mio, that stuff is awesome! Beth, also brought me and fun Mullet cup to try to get all of my water down :)
More fun gifts last week, Clare made me my very own "Flat Steven Tyler's" think of the childhood story books Flat Stanley! SO funny and fun to hang with Steven! Also Clare, got me the coolest shirt that says "Battle Mode" I am totally going to use that next week during chemo.
Sara K, thanks so much for the PURPLE 32oz BPA free cup, to help me chug my water, and also getting me some Mio. (Her and Beth obviously have great minds!)
Tracy and Lisa for getting me the Get-Well buttons! They make me smile BIG :) I <3 Pain Meds, the nurse's favorite, Chemo Sucks, One Tough Chick.....
I Love You people,
Marsha
I have had a ton of people ask me how my 1st chemo went. I thought I would give yall a time line of what I experienced.
I had Chemo on Tuesday, and was feeling pretty good during the treatment. As soon as Bart and I are packing up to go. A headache hits me like no other. You have to understand, I take maybe 4 Advils a year. I never get headaches...The headache is obviously medicine related, because goodness gracious they were pumping my body with all kinds of poisons.
We go home, I go to bed for a few hours. (I am able to get up that night, and have Braeden and Chaser read to me. Which for the whole chemo time, I am able to have them to that with them)
After they go to bed around 745, I hit the hay again and end up sleeping a full 15 hrs. I am guestimating that I slept around 18 hours both Tuesday and Wednesday.
Wednesday, I had to go back to Duke to get a shot to increase my WBC count.
My major symptoms that day were extreme exhaustion, and the whole time I was awake, I was nauseaus and my mouth had that watery feeling like when you are pregnant. I was able to hit the Target with Bart before my appointment to get a few things we needed. So I was up and out and about, like a living zombie I would say :)
On Thursday, the few hours that I was up, I had a few friends stop in, and I was able to visit with them for and hour or so. My major symptoms that day was more exhaustion, and the whole time I was awake, I had major stomach cramps, girls you know what I am talking about.
Never fear though, me and the girls were able to do some online shopping from my bed for some special chicks around here with birthdays, lol!
I did shed a few tears this day because even if you are only up for a few hours on Chemo the days FEEL so long, and you wonder how you will get thru them.
On Friday, I was going to have to be in full mama mode, Bart had to work. I was still feeling like crap, tired, tired.
As I was sitting in carpool, I almost lost it. You feel SOOOOOO BADDDD and SOOOOO tired. I wasnt sure how in the world I would get thru entertaining 3 boys with the rain outside....I appreciate the offers from Roger and Tui to go get the kids, but I really feel like if I can do it, I NEED to do it.
Had offers from neighbors, that they would pick the boys up food for me that night. Was glad about that, I couldn't even imagine where the energy was going to come from to clean the kitchen if I did cook.
So lets fast forward to around 6 pm.....
For whatever reason, I am not complaining, it was like a switch! Seriously, some of yall probably saw my facebook post. It really was as if someone, turned me back into normal Marsha. It truly was craziness. I felt COMPLETELY LIKE ME. So since last Friday at 6pm, I have been feeling great and normal!
I am on an every other Wednesday chemo schedule, my next one is due on 11/16/11. I honestly am not looking forward to it. I know I will get thru it, but it's not really any fun. My brother Jeremy called me the other day, and we both laughed about how "Yeah, nobody says this chemo crap is fun"...Kinda like when you have a new baby, nobody EVER says you are going to be get lots of rest :)
I hope that my regimen does make me any sicker than what I was last week. Also, I talked to my nurse at Duke, she said that they started me out at the highest Chemo dose for me. So this means they will not increase my Chemo dose, and that usually most patients will experience the same Chemo effects each treatment, just add in more fatigue.
I really am quite ok with sleeping for 72 hours, but I am not sure how I would get my 12 glasses of water in a day that I am suppose to drink to flush the Chemo thru my body and so it doesn't sit in my bladder and damage it. TWELVE glasses, I am usually a 1 glass a day kind of girl. But I would like to tell Beth Farner, thank you for introducing me to Mio, that stuff is awesome! Beth, also brought me and fun Mullet cup to try to get all of my water down :)
More fun gifts last week, Clare made me my very own "Flat Steven Tyler's" think of the childhood story books Flat Stanley! SO funny and fun to hang with Steven! Also Clare, got me the coolest shirt that says "Battle Mode" I am totally going to use that next week during chemo.
Sara K, thanks so much for the PURPLE 32oz BPA free cup, to help me chug my water, and also getting me some Mio. (Her and Beth obviously have great minds!)
Tracy and Lisa for getting me the Get-Well buttons! They make me smile BIG :) I <3 Pain Meds, the nurse's favorite, Chemo Sucks, One Tough Chick.....
I Love You people,
Marsha
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Pick a topic any topic. Wigs? Haircuts? Power Port surgery? 1st Chemo?
I will begin this post going back to the weekend of 10/28.
With the Chemo I am on, I will loose my hair 2 weeks after I start it.
Again, no body really wants this crap to happen to them, but the bigger picture is the bigger picture, I gotta live and do what I have to do. And I will probably miss the at least 3 to 4 compliments I get daily for my funky highlights, it will be ok :) Dana Ray you have always rocked my hair!
So as always, I am wanting to make things fun and decided that an last minute plan to go on an outing to a wig shop would be just thing I needed to get started on accepting my new found baldness that will be upon me before I know it. So off we go, Michelle, Sara K and I.
We end up at the Gallery of Wigs off of Edward's Mill Road. You walk in and of course it's instant, ohh those are cute, eww not for me.
I would imagine that I tried on every length, every color. I found out that I should never color my hair Platium Blond that was an awful color on me.
Nor should I grow it out much longer than it was that day. (I cut my hair later that night)
So a few hundred bucks later, I am the proud owner of two wigs, one is a very simple cut that we posted on FB, and the other she had to order in the "funky" colors that I wanted. She also called that wig the cadillac of wigs, which scared me just a bit. But with this wig, I can flat iron it, hot roller it, and do whatever I want style wise up to 350 degrees.
So later that night, My MaMA Kathleen (she is a hairdresser) was at our neighbor's house celebrating his birthday. I have always wanted to try a shorter hairstyle with the stack in the back. (Remember, I have been growing my hair out for KJ and Rollin's wedding, and I was really liking how it look long, too)
But I figure what the hay, I am going to be bald soon, Mama Kat let's go to your house and get haircuts. So 7 of us piled into Kathleen's car and off we went. So I am the proud owner of short hair for at least 10 days :)
I will have to say, I am dreading the growing back in stage, not sure if the pixie hair is for me....but pixie is better than nutha! I hope I don't sound too whiny, its just my real thoughts....
Of side notes, Braxton wants me to get afro wigs. Chase says he wants me to wear bandana's everyday because they rock and I will look cute in them. Braeden just wants to know if I will be bald forever like Mr Geoff next door :)
A big thank you to my neighbor Chrissy Wisler, she took some fabric I had purchased and made me some really cute bandana's. I told her, I was going to have to buy outfits to match the fabric. lol Bart just groans at that statement. But SERIOULSY, I can't be mismatching :)
So on to the not too fun stuff.
My port was on 10/31 at 7:00. A big huge thank you to my sweet friends the Howells for getting me there. Taft got me there safely, and it confused us slightly, because for a minute we were thinking we headed to work, lol!
So things I can tell you the port. The nursing staff were great, the not so great part for me was when the actual doctor came in, he never whet to the side of the bed where my head was turned. (they had me positioned just right, and I could not move my head. So I have NO idea who the boy-child doctor is who did my surgery or what he even looks like.
I hope I am not being bitchy, but seriously that would have take 3 seconds to introduce himself. (Maybe, I am just spoiled, because when I worked in the hospital I was very much like I am outside of the hospital, personable, humorous etc. I am also that way as a patient)
Fast forward, this dang Power Ports HURTS for the first day, I needed to be in bed. But Braeden knows what a big deal Halloween is around here. We Crums and neighbors have the best time with the dressing up and decorations. Braeden asked me every so sweetly if I would be giving out candy, and I could not disappoint that little face. The rain may have been a mixed blessing, who knows. Donna came over and we passed out candy for almost 2 hours, when the boys got back, I was promptly sent to bed by Donna and Angie.
Next day is Tuesday the 1st my first chemo day...I will short and sweet about this.
It was a LONNNNNG BUTTT DAYYYYY of appppppts. I won't bore you with all the details, got there at 8:30 had muga scan (this will be my baseline picture of my heart, then we will recheck to see what chemo has done to damage it, THIS is what makes me want to cuss....is it not enough that I have cancer, but the drug you are fixing me with is going to damage my perfectly good heart.....sigggggghhhhhhh) That's all the negative I will say, but DAMN!
(again, sorry to all of my non-cussing friends, but I don't smoke so I need to let it out somehow)
Saw my medical oncologist after my muga. She hooked me up with a pharmacy of drugs, I now take 12 pills a day vs the ZERO I was on....Bart bought me a pill organizer this morning, kinda made me feel old. lol
So off to chemo appt I go....pretty benign. It's a room full of recliners and tvs, and overworked RNs that can get to the alarm bells quick enough, so many alarms it sounded like a construction site. The sad part for me, is all of the people in that room that were there. Cancer affects so many people. I know each and every one of you are affected. This is my 3rd encounter with the monster.
I got lots of pre meds for about an hour and then at the 3:25 pm with Dr Phil on the tv on the talk show The Talk....my chemo iv push started.
The worse thing about yesterday, was I had a killer headache, and I never get them. But I woke up this morning feeling fine. Supposely the real and true effects of chemo don't hit you till week 2 of your treatment.
I have a 1230 appt to get a shot to boost my WBC counts, which apparently causes achy bones, that sounds like a blast!
So I am off my lovely's. See ya soon
With the Chemo I am on, I will loose my hair 2 weeks after I start it.
Again, no body really wants this crap to happen to them, but the bigger picture is the bigger picture, I gotta live and do what I have to do. And I will probably miss the at least 3 to 4 compliments I get daily for my funky highlights, it will be ok :) Dana Ray you have always rocked my hair!
So as always, I am wanting to make things fun and decided that an last minute plan to go on an outing to a wig shop would be just thing I needed to get started on accepting my new found baldness that will be upon me before I know it. So off we go, Michelle, Sara K and I.
We end up at the Gallery of Wigs off of Edward's Mill Road. You walk in and of course it's instant, ohh those are cute, eww not for me.
I would imagine that I tried on every length, every color. I found out that I should never color my hair Platium Blond that was an awful color on me.
Nor should I grow it out much longer than it was that day. (I cut my hair later that night)
So a few hundred bucks later, I am the proud owner of two wigs, one is a very simple cut that we posted on FB, and the other she had to order in the "funky" colors that I wanted. She also called that wig the cadillac of wigs, which scared me just a bit. But with this wig, I can flat iron it, hot roller it, and do whatever I want style wise up to 350 degrees.
So later that night, My MaMA Kathleen (she is a hairdresser) was at our neighbor's house celebrating his birthday. I have always wanted to try a shorter hairstyle with the stack in the back. (Remember, I have been growing my hair out for KJ and Rollin's wedding, and I was really liking how it look long, too)
But I figure what the hay, I am going to be bald soon, Mama Kat let's go to your house and get haircuts. So 7 of us piled into Kathleen's car and off we went. So I am the proud owner of short hair for at least 10 days :)
I will have to say, I am dreading the growing back in stage, not sure if the pixie hair is for me....but pixie is better than nutha! I hope I don't sound too whiny, its just my real thoughts....
Of side notes, Braxton wants me to get afro wigs. Chase says he wants me to wear bandana's everyday because they rock and I will look cute in them. Braeden just wants to know if I will be bald forever like Mr Geoff next door :)
A big thank you to my neighbor Chrissy Wisler, she took some fabric I had purchased and made me some really cute bandana's. I told her, I was going to have to buy outfits to match the fabric. lol Bart just groans at that statement. But SERIOULSY, I can't be mismatching :)
So on to the not too fun stuff.
My port was on 10/31 at 7:00. A big huge thank you to my sweet friends the Howells for getting me there. Taft got me there safely, and it confused us slightly, because for a minute we were thinking we headed to work, lol!
So things I can tell you the port. The nursing staff were great, the not so great part for me was when the actual doctor came in, he never whet to the side of the bed where my head was turned. (they had me positioned just right, and I could not move my head. So I have NO idea who the boy-child doctor is who did my surgery or what he even looks like.
I hope I am not being bitchy, but seriously that would have take 3 seconds to introduce himself. (Maybe, I am just spoiled, because when I worked in the hospital I was very much like I am outside of the hospital, personable, humorous etc. I am also that way as a patient)
Fast forward, this dang Power Ports HURTS for the first day, I needed to be in bed. But Braeden knows what a big deal Halloween is around here. We Crums and neighbors have the best time with the dressing up and decorations. Braeden asked me every so sweetly if I would be giving out candy, and I could not disappoint that little face. The rain may have been a mixed blessing, who knows. Donna came over and we passed out candy for almost 2 hours, when the boys got back, I was promptly sent to bed by Donna and Angie.
Next day is Tuesday the 1st my first chemo day...I will short and sweet about this.
It was a LONNNNNG BUTTT DAYYYYY of appppppts. I won't bore you with all the details, got there at 8:30 had muga scan (this will be my baseline picture of my heart, then we will recheck to see what chemo has done to damage it, THIS is what makes me want to cuss....is it not enough that I have cancer, but the drug you are fixing me with is going to damage my perfectly good heart.....sigggggghhhhhhh) That's all the negative I will say, but DAMN!
(again, sorry to all of my non-cussing friends, but I don't smoke so I need to let it out somehow)
Saw my medical oncologist after my muga. She hooked me up with a pharmacy of drugs, I now take 12 pills a day vs the ZERO I was on....Bart bought me a pill organizer this morning, kinda made me feel old. lol
So off to chemo appt I go....pretty benign. It's a room full of recliners and tvs, and overworked RNs that can get to the alarm bells quick enough, so many alarms it sounded like a construction site. The sad part for me, is all of the people in that room that were there. Cancer affects so many people. I know each and every one of you are affected. This is my 3rd encounter with the monster.
I got lots of pre meds for about an hour and then at the 3:25 pm with Dr Phil on the tv on the talk show The Talk....my chemo iv push started.
The worse thing about yesterday, was I had a killer headache, and I never get them. But I woke up this morning feeling fine. Supposely the real and true effects of chemo don't hit you till week 2 of your treatment.
I have a 1230 appt to get a shot to boost my WBC counts, which apparently causes achy bones, that sounds like a blast!
So I am off my lovely's. See ya soon
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Eating Nabs and having a Diet Dew for breakfast is a BAD thing
Hi all,
I had yet another exciting needle filled day over at DUMC today.
We got to Duke on time at 8:30 this morning. Bart and I were armed with our books and iPads in anticipation of the wait that you always have at Duke, affectionally know as DukeTime.
I was able to catch up on emails and my calendar which is a huge task.
By this time, it was around 9:30 and I had not eaten yet. I sent Bart to get me something to snack on, he came back with nabs and a DMD. I was still eating when the RN came to get me. I had just put a cracker in my mouth, and made a joke about me talking to her with my mouth full, and that I was sorry. She immediately, asked "you are eating?"
(I am thinking, yeah can't you see the orange crumbs that are likely on my chin? Or the big ol DMD I am carrying, because I am never without one of those)
She then told me I was scheduled for surgery. I told her as far as I knew the only torture I was up for was my biopsies that day.
I then spoke to another RN...blah, blah, blah! So the misunderstanding was, that I was scheduled for my Power Port today, and that what I thought was my Power Port appointment on Tuesday is in fact my Muga scan. (The Muga scan evaluates heart damage. I have a healthy heart now, but I need to get a baseline Muga done, because the heart and the Chemo I am going to be doing are not very good friends. That Chemo biotch ain't called the Red Devil for nothing)
So moving on, I had my breast MRI with Biopsies done today around 1130. I was on that table for at least an hour and half if not more. Initially, the "kids" I mean the extremely young looking doctors told me that they thought they were going to potentially be taking at least 36 biopsies today. I will let you fill in the blank, what I was think. HOLY------------!
I asked for Valium for the MRI, the baby docs were hesitant, I quickly told them that I was not the kind of girl that can sit/lay still for 8 mins which is the time span of some of the pics/views they have to get.
I had at least six 5 minute scans today, which they are OFTEN telling you not move.
It is so hard to lay still. Everything itches, your nose suddenly has a bat in the cave, hair that was securely up in a ponytail now is falling out and tickling your cheek, your neck, you have to pee so bad even if you had just gone right before the scan, etc etc.
Keep in mind they are squishing the hell out of me, and also inserting 6 inch needles into me multiply times.
If they could tell you not to breathe they would. (I dare you to try it at home, it ain't easy. I am not really a complainer, but I think the Valium helped calm my mind down.)
I am uncomfortable to say the least after today. They only took 5 biopsies, they think what they are seeing is a fibercystic mass on my right side.
So I am back home, just got in from Tao Kwon Do with Chaser, as soon as Bart gets home. I am going to find some really comfy jammies to put on. And fall out for the day.
Side note funnies,
I am not suppose to take a shower or a bath for 48 hrs. For real people? The PTA bath does not work!
I now have more "metal" in my body. I can't wait to go thru airport security. The count is up to 2 Titanium clips and a Copper IUD that I had to get switched over yesterday. (If that is too much information, SORRY) But as Sara K, Chad and Jeff B were discussing last night, we think it will be quite a show the first time I get "wanded" thru security...lol
Thanks to Donna and Tui for carting my kids to school and back for me! It really is a HUGE help. A big thank you to Linda and Beth for bring grub over tonight for us.
So things on the agenda next week
Monday the 31st, I will be having surgery to get the Power Port in. (I may actually have Chemo this day, I will know then.)
Tuesday the 1st, I will be having a Muga Scan, and I am thinking Chemo this day, too.
I had yet another exciting needle filled day over at DUMC today.
We got to Duke on time at 8:30 this morning. Bart and I were armed with our books and iPads in anticipation of the wait that you always have at Duke, affectionally know as DukeTime.
I was able to catch up on emails and my calendar which is a huge task.
By this time, it was around 9:30 and I had not eaten yet. I sent Bart to get me something to snack on, he came back with nabs and a DMD. I was still eating when the RN came to get me. I had just put a cracker in my mouth, and made a joke about me talking to her with my mouth full, and that I was sorry. She immediately, asked "you are eating?"
(I am thinking, yeah can't you see the orange crumbs that are likely on my chin? Or the big ol DMD I am carrying, because I am never without one of those)
She then told me I was scheduled for surgery. I told her as far as I knew the only torture I was up for was my biopsies that day.
I then spoke to another RN...blah, blah, blah! So the misunderstanding was, that I was scheduled for my Power Port today, and that what I thought was my Power Port appointment on Tuesday is in fact my Muga scan. (The Muga scan evaluates heart damage. I have a healthy heart now, but I need to get a baseline Muga done, because the heart and the Chemo I am going to be doing are not very good friends. That Chemo biotch ain't called the Red Devil for nothing)
So moving on, I had my breast MRI with Biopsies done today around 1130. I was on that table for at least an hour and half if not more. Initially, the "kids" I mean the extremely young looking doctors told me that they thought they were going to potentially be taking at least 36 biopsies today. I will let you fill in the blank, what I was think. HOLY------------!
I asked for Valium for the MRI, the baby docs were hesitant, I quickly told them that I was not the kind of girl that can sit/lay still for 8 mins which is the time span of some of the pics/views they have to get.
I had at least six 5 minute scans today, which they are OFTEN telling you not move.
It is so hard to lay still. Everything itches, your nose suddenly has a bat in the cave, hair that was securely up in a ponytail now is falling out and tickling your cheek, your neck, you have to pee so bad even if you had just gone right before the scan, etc etc.
Keep in mind they are squishing the hell out of me, and also inserting 6 inch needles into me multiply times.
If they could tell you not to breathe they would. (I dare you to try it at home, it ain't easy. I am not really a complainer, but I think the Valium helped calm my mind down.)
I am uncomfortable to say the least after today. They only took 5 biopsies, they think what they are seeing is a fibercystic mass on my right side.
So I am back home, just got in from Tao Kwon Do with Chaser, as soon as Bart gets home. I am going to find some really comfy jammies to put on. And fall out for the day.
Side note funnies,
I am not suppose to take a shower or a bath for 48 hrs. For real people? The PTA bath does not work!
I now have more "metal" in my body. I can't wait to go thru airport security. The count is up to 2 Titanium clips and a Copper IUD that I had to get switched over yesterday. (If that is too much information, SORRY) But as Sara K, Chad and Jeff B were discussing last night, we think it will be quite a show the first time I get "wanded" thru security...lol
Thanks to Donna and Tui for carting my kids to school and back for me! It really is a HUGE help. A big thank you to Linda and Beth for bring grub over tonight for us.
So things on the agenda next week
Monday the 31st, I will be having surgery to get the Power Port in. (I may actually have Chemo this day, I will know then.)
Tuesday the 1st, I will be having a Muga Scan, and I am thinking Chemo this day, too.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
So is ONE a lucky number?
I have a chemo date of
11/1/11 at 11am.....I really cannot make this stuff up. (I really am a RainWoman sort of girl, think Dustin Hoffman, I wonder if Duke is messing with me?)
So earlier that morning at 8:30, I will be having my "Power Port" put in...(but with a date like this to start my chemo, I think I need to play the PowerBall, instead....)
I wonder if 2 is a lucky number as well? Remember, I am scheduling my surgeries on 2/21/12 at 12:15...(I am slightly disappointed that my appointment is not at 12 :)
(I guess I need to clarify, my surgeries should be in March sometime. This date is just to get me on the books) I have to wait 4 weeks post chemo to have any kind of surgery....
Good night all!
11/1/11 at 11am.....I really cannot make this stuff up. (I really am a RainWoman sort of girl, think Dustin Hoffman, I wonder if Duke is messing with me?)
So earlier that morning at 8:30, I will be having my "Power Port" put in...(but with a date like this to start my chemo, I think I need to play the PowerBall, instead....)
I wonder if 2 is a lucky number as well? Remember, I am scheduling my surgeries on 2/21/12 at 12:15...(I am slightly disappointed that my appointment is not at 12 :)
(I guess I need to clarify, my surgeries should be in March sometime. This date is just to get me on the books) I have to wait 4 weeks post chemo to have any kind of surgery....
Good night all!
Cancer the other PITA
Hi all,
I ran another 5k yesterday at Duke, ok not really but it sounded good. (most of my appointments were contained within a 4 block radius within the building)
I will keep it short and simple...
I had to get an ultrasound done, because my results from the MRI showed "something" on both the right and left side.
The US was unable to pick up anything, which is a good thing. But MRI gives a clearer picture of what is going on in the body. So basically, the MRI saw something that the US can't....
So this means, I am scheduled for more biopsies next Thursday. I will be having them done on both sides. I am dreading this because they are going to do the biopsies under MRI and really I can tell you how much NO fun those breast MRIs are....
I also swished around a little $4000 dollar bottle of Scope, so they could get a DNA sample from me. They are doing genetics testing to rule me out for the BRCA 1 and 2 gene. If I test positive for these genes, it puts me at a much greater risk for other cancers, such as ovarian.
This test will be a huge tool in what we decide for my surgery. I have a date to schedule my surgeries (hopefully, they can all be done at the same time) which is 2/21/12, the surgeon thought that because of the time it took to get all the biopsies back, and the genetics testing back (14 days), and then also having to wait 4 weeks after surgery to start chemo, that I would be better to start Chemo ASAP, and then get surgery done in March (?).
I am officially 6 weeks in as of today with this whole cancer crap.
So as of right now, I am waiting to hear about my power port appointment, which will be the start of my Chemo journey. I am really not looking forward to being bald by Thanksgiving.
I must get to shopping for fun hats, bandanas, and scarves......I can tell you tell you one thing, I am not canceling any of my hair appointments with my hair girl and friend Dana, until I am sure that it will be gone.
A few highlights from the day...The surgeon at Duke thought that my Wake Med surgeon did a great job with my lumpectomy, she said my scars looked "nice" :). Dr Hwang also kept thanking me for being such a nice patient and having such a great attitude.
Well really now, I can't be a total HOT MESS for a year, although I have my moments. Again, a big thank you to everyone for the SUPPORT, LOVE, AND BEING THERE for us! This whole cancer thing is a major PITA, but I know I will get thru it with the help of you guys!
I ran another 5k yesterday at Duke, ok not really but it sounded good. (most of my appointments were contained within a 4 block radius within the building)
I will keep it short and simple...
I had to get an ultrasound done, because my results from the MRI showed "something" on both the right and left side.
The US was unable to pick up anything, which is a good thing. But MRI gives a clearer picture of what is going on in the body. So basically, the MRI saw something that the US can't....
So this means, I am scheduled for more biopsies next Thursday. I will be having them done on both sides. I am dreading this because they are going to do the biopsies under MRI and really I can tell you how much NO fun those breast MRIs are....
I also swished around a little $4000 dollar bottle of Scope, so they could get a DNA sample from me. They are doing genetics testing to rule me out for the BRCA 1 and 2 gene. If I test positive for these genes, it puts me at a much greater risk for other cancers, such as ovarian.
This test will be a huge tool in what we decide for my surgery. I have a date to schedule my surgeries (hopefully, they can all be done at the same time) which is 2/21/12, the surgeon thought that because of the time it took to get all the biopsies back, and the genetics testing back (14 days), and then also having to wait 4 weeks after surgery to start chemo, that I would be better to start Chemo ASAP, and then get surgery done in March (?).
I am officially 6 weeks in as of today with this whole cancer crap.
So as of right now, I am waiting to hear about my power port appointment, which will be the start of my Chemo journey. I am really not looking forward to being bald by Thanksgiving.
I must get to shopping for fun hats, bandanas, and scarves......I can tell you tell you one thing, I am not canceling any of my hair appointments with my hair girl and friend Dana, until I am sure that it will be gone.
A few highlights from the day...The surgeon at Duke thought that my Wake Med surgeon did a great job with my lumpectomy, she said my scars looked "nice" :). Dr Hwang also kept thanking me for being such a nice patient and having such a great attitude.
Well really now, I can't be a total HOT MESS for a year, although I have my moments. Again, a big thank you to everyone for the SUPPORT, LOVE, AND BEING THERE for us! This whole cancer thing is a major PITA, but I know I will get thru it with the help of you guys!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
My first of many DUMC appointments
So from start to finish today I was at Duke for six very long hours. The first 2 and a 1/2 were boring, we were just sitting there waiting. Mental note to self, I need to start packing my Kindle, no matter how big or small my purse is. And also a phone charger, sorry for all of the non returned texts....
So the long of the short of today....(I am tired and my humor is thin at the moment.)
I met with my Medical Oncologist today, Dr Kimmick. She will be handling my Chemo part of this hellish ride I am on. She seems very nice and she has twins as well, whats not to love?
She ordered a slew of testing for me today.
And between the hours of 4pm and 5pm. Bart and I ran a 5k trying to get from clinics 1A to 2J (ekg) to 1E (Chest xray) back to 3W (Lab work), and then had to run our butts over to the main hospital for the MRI that was thrown into the mix today and was scheduled for 5. (I would like my 5k sticker for my car, because he and I did some major hustling)
I had to leave the lab before they got a chance to draw blood, so I could make my MRI appointment. But no worries people, I got poked today for an IV and also suffered thru the most uncomfortable Breast MRI (google a picture of that position)....Disclaimer: these are not the true clinic number's for you Duker's, I just can't remember, and I refuse to go to my handy notebook and actually look up the real clinic numbers. I think you get the pic...
So the highlights from today.....She is ready to start Chemo with me anytime, she is going to wait until I have my consult with Surgery tomorrow and decide if they want to do the Chemo first or wait until after surgery.
I need two different surgeries (Inferior Margin and the Axilliary node dissection) at this point according to her, but I will know for sure what my surgeon thinks tomorrow morning.
Also of note, she is going to do genetics testing on me to make sure I don't have markers for any other kind of cancer. If this is the case, this brings up the point of doing a mastectomy. Genetic testing takes 10 to 14 days to find out the results. So surgery is definitely put off for a few weeks, if not longer.
I found out the name of one of my Chemo drugs, it is called Adriamycin...or in the cancer world it is also known as the Red Devil....sounds fantastic.
I will be getting a 'power port" put in next week, so they will be able to get access without sticking me a million times. She also is going to put me on a 4 month chemo plan vs the typical 6 month plan. She plans on increasing the dose of chemo, she said it would make me sicker, but this way I would be done with it quicker. I will be having Chemo every other week. And she asked alot about our support system, how the kids are, Bart's work schedule, etc. She says this kind of regimen will put me out for 3 to 4 days after I get "poisoned".
I will give you a few of the side effects, (I had to stop reading them). Nausea and vomiting, fatigue, mouth sores, (gross me out), and hair loss. I read the hair loss can happen within 2 weeks of my first treatment. This makes me sad in so many ways, but I have to keep LOOKING at the BIGGER picture.
So upcoming tomorrow is
Surgery consult, radiation consult, lab work. I have also been in contact with Genetics that will hopefully be tomorrow as well.
Next week, it looks like I have the power port to look forward to, and after that is in the Chemo will begin I assume, as long as my surgeon Dr Hwang gives the go ahead.
Much love,
M
Also a big thank you today to Tui, Denys and Steve. All 3 of them had to step in and take care of the boys for us while we were gone. Big thank you to Donna for taking my kids to school in the morning....
So the long of the short of today....(I am tired and my humor is thin at the moment.)
I met with my Medical Oncologist today, Dr Kimmick. She will be handling my Chemo part of this hellish ride I am on. She seems very nice and she has twins as well, whats not to love?
She ordered a slew of testing for me today.
And between the hours of 4pm and 5pm. Bart and I ran a 5k trying to get from clinics 1A to 2J (ekg) to 1E (Chest xray) back to 3W (Lab work), and then had to run our butts over to the main hospital for the MRI that was thrown into the mix today and was scheduled for 5. (I would like my 5k sticker for my car, because he and I did some major hustling)
I had to leave the lab before they got a chance to draw blood, so I could make my MRI appointment. But no worries people, I got poked today for an IV and also suffered thru the most uncomfortable Breast MRI (google a picture of that position)....Disclaimer: these are not the true clinic number's for you Duker's, I just can't remember, and I refuse to go to my handy notebook and actually look up the real clinic numbers. I think you get the pic...
So the highlights from today.....She is ready to start Chemo with me anytime, she is going to wait until I have my consult with Surgery tomorrow and decide if they want to do the Chemo first or wait until after surgery.
I need two different surgeries (Inferior Margin and the Axilliary node dissection) at this point according to her, but I will know for sure what my surgeon thinks tomorrow morning.
Also of note, she is going to do genetics testing on me to make sure I don't have markers for any other kind of cancer. If this is the case, this brings up the point of doing a mastectomy. Genetic testing takes 10 to 14 days to find out the results. So surgery is definitely put off for a few weeks, if not longer.
I found out the name of one of my Chemo drugs, it is called Adriamycin...or in the cancer world it is also known as the Red Devil....sounds fantastic.
I will be getting a 'power port" put in next week, so they will be able to get access without sticking me a million times. She also is going to put me on a 4 month chemo plan vs the typical 6 month plan. She plans on increasing the dose of chemo, she said it would make me sicker, but this way I would be done with it quicker. I will be having Chemo every other week. And she asked alot about our support system, how the kids are, Bart's work schedule, etc. She says this kind of regimen will put me out for 3 to 4 days after I get "poisoned".
I will give you a few of the side effects, (I had to stop reading them). Nausea and vomiting, fatigue, mouth sores, (gross me out), and hair loss. I read the hair loss can happen within 2 weeks of my first treatment. This makes me sad in so many ways, but I have to keep LOOKING at the BIGGER picture.
So upcoming tomorrow is
Surgery consult, radiation consult, lab work. I have also been in contact with Genetics that will hopefully be tomorrow as well.
Next week, it looks like I have the power port to look forward to, and after that is in the Chemo will begin I assume, as long as my surgeon Dr Hwang gives the go ahead.
Much love,
M
Also a big thank you today to Tui, Denys and Steve. All 3 of them had to step in and take care of the boys for us while we were gone. Big thank you to Donna for taking my kids to school in the morning....
Monday, October 10, 2011
Duke fan in the future?
Hi all,
I will update more this afternoon, once I get back from my Wake Med surgeon appointment, which will go over the rest of my pathology reports from last weeks surgery.
Since hearing the Chemo and Stage II news and the unexpected news of a completely different surgery news on Friday, I have decided to move over to Duke.
I have had a huge help in doing this from my very awesome and longtime friends Taft and Shannon Howell.
Short history of our friendship. They both were in my wedding, I cherish them both. Although, I am not sure if Taft has ever forgiven me for trying to make him wear an eggplant Bridesman get-up :)
Shannon and I went to HS together.
Taft and I were Respiratory Therapists together in Rocky Mount, and he has worked over at Duke for years. He has put me in touch with the right people, to get my case a moving along. I have an appointment next week with the Surgeon Oncologist.
I am still very comfortable with what my Plan A was. It was the right decision for me at the time when I made it. Now onward to Plan B.
And please, don't buy me any Duke t-shirts just yet.
I will update more this afternoon, once I get back from my Wake Med surgeon appointment, which will go over the rest of my pathology reports from last weeks surgery.
Since hearing the Chemo and Stage II news and the unexpected news of a completely different surgery news on Friday, I have decided to move over to Duke.
I have had a huge help in doing this from my very awesome and longtime friends Taft and Shannon Howell.
Short history of our friendship. They both were in my wedding, I cherish them both. Although, I am not sure if Taft has ever forgiven me for trying to make him wear an eggplant Bridesman get-up :)
Shannon and I went to HS together.
Taft and I were Respiratory Therapists together in Rocky Mount, and he has worked over at Duke for years. He has put me in touch with the right people, to get my case a moving along. I have an appointment next week with the Surgeon Oncologist.
I am still very comfortable with what my Plan A was. It was the right decision for me at the time when I made it. Now onward to Plan B.
And please, don't buy me any Duke t-shirts just yet.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Another surgery, siggghhhhhhh
Hi all,
I just got off the phone with the surgeon...here are a few highlights. I hope it doesn't give you a headache like it has given me.
I was rapidly writing what she was saying as I was listening, so this info as is true as I can get it...
"Given the extent of dissection done already, if your pathology report and or margins are positive, you will need a mastectomy.....I will let you know as soon as that pathology report is back, it is still unavailiable ."
........
I also tested positive for DCIS in my inferior margins, which means yes, indeed I have to have another surgery. That surgery will be done sometime in the next few weeks.
The doctor said this was a good thing, that it was DCIS, (DCIS=precursor to cancer cells).
I asked her if I needed to go ahead and get a M done, she said all the cancer is gone and it is not necessary.
She said, that having the cancer in my lymph nodes shouldn't/wouldn't have changed my decision to have a L vs a M, if I would have known they were positve.
I have 2 appointments next week, once I see my oncologist on Wednesday, I will get with my surgeon to schedule the newest surgery, after we coordinate with Dr W, my O.
Hang in there with me, it looks like I am in for a rollercoaster of ups and downs in the coming few months.
I just got off the phone with the surgeon...here are a few highlights. I hope it doesn't give you a headache like it has given me.
I was rapidly writing what she was saying as I was listening, so this info as is true as I can get it...
"Given the extent of dissection done already, if your pathology report and or margins are positive, you will need a mastectomy.....I will let you know as soon as that pathology report is back, it is still unavailiable ."
........
I also tested positive for DCIS in my inferior margins, which means yes, indeed I have to have another surgery. That surgery will be done sometime in the next few weeks.
The doctor said this was a good thing, that it was DCIS, (DCIS=precursor to cancer cells).
I asked her if I needed to go ahead and get a M done, she said all the cancer is gone and it is not necessary.
She said, that having the cancer in my lymph nodes shouldn't/wouldn't have changed my decision to have a L vs a M, if I would have known they were positve.
I have 2 appointments next week, once I see my oncologist on Wednesday, I will get with my surgeon to schedule the newest surgery, after we coordinate with Dr W, my O.
Hang in there with me, it looks like I am in for a rollercoaster of ups and downs in the coming few months.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I can handle the physical pain, gotta get a handle of the emotional side of it
Hi all,
Its been a few days since surgery, and I am finally out of my bed. I even plan on wearing real clothes tomorrow.
Oh crap, who am I kidding, another new pair of pjs here I come.
Thank you friends, that have been supporting my " I gotta look good while sick and bring me a pair of pjs mission."
I have had a week full of wearing lovely new pjs and feeling hugged by the very ones that have gifted them to me.
Bart seriously has no clue now what to buy me for Christmas, because getting me pjs is always a winner :)
Eric blogged for me on Monday, about what happened during surgery. I wish I could tell you that I had more information about what exactly having a 'positive lymph node" means.
But in my mind, it means
Chemotherapy
Pet scan to see if the cancer has spread beyond my lymph nodes (which this part of it is causing my MIND to WORK overtime, I really need to stop overthinking it, wait for the doc to call me and figure out the gameplan from there on out)
The possibility of more surgery.
None of that is really official except the Chemo part. I hope to hear from my surgeon tomorrow with the biopsy results.
I have an official surgeon appointment, on Monday the 10th.
I have an oncology appt on Wednesday the 12th.
I had two days of discomfort with the surgery and then yesterday, I just took the meds so I could get good rest. Today was my first pain pill free day, but I really think I probably should have taken one or four :), so I wouldn't be driving myself crazy with all the "what if" thoughts.
Side note, the cards, food, gifts, flowers have all BEEN WONDERFUL! Thanks for being such great friends to me. I love you all!
Its been a few days since surgery, and I am finally out of my bed. I even plan on wearing real clothes tomorrow.
Oh crap, who am I kidding, another new pair of pjs here I come.
Thank you friends, that have been supporting my " I gotta look good while sick and bring me a pair of pjs mission."
I have had a week full of wearing lovely new pjs and feeling hugged by the very ones that have gifted them to me.
Bart seriously has no clue now what to buy me for Christmas, because getting me pjs is always a winner :)
Eric blogged for me on Monday, about what happened during surgery. I wish I could tell you that I had more information about what exactly having a 'positive lymph node" means.
But in my mind, it means
Chemotherapy
Pet scan to see if the cancer has spread beyond my lymph nodes (which this part of it is causing my MIND to WORK overtime, I really need to stop overthinking it, wait for the doc to call me and figure out the gameplan from there on out)
The possibility of more surgery.
None of that is really official except the Chemo part. I hope to hear from my surgeon tomorrow with the biopsy results.
I have an official surgeon appointment, on Monday the 10th.
I have an oncology appt on Wednesday the 12th.
I had two days of discomfort with the surgery and then yesterday, I just took the meds so I could get good rest. Today was my first pain pill free day, but I really think I probably should have taken one or four :), so I wouldn't be driving myself crazy with all the "what if" thoughts.
Side note, the cards, food, gifts, flowers have all BEEN WONDERFUL! Thanks for being such great friends to me. I love you all!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Warrior Woman! Surgery Update...
Okay folks, this is Eric, Marsha's brother. She asked me to post something regarding her surgery and to try to be comical. Apparently, my humor is not up to her standards. I guess what I am trying to say here is that...not only is Buffy a biotch, but sometimes also...well, I think you get my point.
Anyway, Marsha had surgery today and the results were not as expected. Buffy was near the chest wall and decided to hold on for all she was worth causing them to have to remove a significant portion of her chest wall. Buffy had also spread to her first lymphnode which tested positive, but the one behind it tested negative.
What is on the horizon...Marsha will most likely deliver Buffy a one-two punch with radiation AND chemo (not the news we were expecting to hear). A mastectomy, however, is still in the cards as a possibility. Being the Princess that she is, she is concerned about her hair. I told her not to fear. I could do a fantastic style for her with my creative talents. I am not so sure she was keen on the idea. Anyway, she will be the Diva I have always loved and admired when all is said and done. She will kick Buffy's ass soon enough.
One thing I do know about my sister...she is an amazing woman who is tough and can tackle anything that comes her way. I look at this as another opportunity for her to show the world exactly what she is made of, exactly what I have always known she has been capable of doing. Since I have this opportunity, I want to publically acknowledge that I love her more than words. She has always placed everyone's needs above her own, but now it is her turn. I told her to milk it for everything it is worth. I sure as heck would!
She is resting and will post as soon as she can. I can assure you of one thing...it will be a more comical post than mine.
Anyway, Marsha had surgery today and the results were not as expected. Buffy was near the chest wall and decided to hold on for all she was worth causing them to have to remove a significant portion of her chest wall. Buffy had also spread to her first lymphnode which tested positive, but the one behind it tested negative.
What is on the horizon...Marsha will most likely deliver Buffy a one-two punch with radiation AND chemo (not the news we were expecting to hear). A mastectomy, however, is still in the cards as a possibility. Being the Princess that she is, she is concerned about her hair. I told her not to fear. I could do a fantastic style for her with my creative talents. I am not so sure she was keen on the idea. Anyway, she will be the Diva I have always loved and admired when all is said and done. She will kick Buffy's ass soon enough.
One thing I do know about my sister...she is an amazing woman who is tough and can tackle anything that comes her way. I look at this as another opportunity for her to show the world exactly what she is made of, exactly what I have always known she has been capable of doing. Since I have this opportunity, I want to publically acknowledge that I love her more than words. She has always placed everyone's needs above her own, but now it is her turn. I told her to milk it for everything it is worth. I sure as heck would!
She is resting and will post as soon as she can. I can assure you of one thing...it will be a more comical post than mine.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
New surgery date of 10/3....
I have been on a total emotional rollercoaster ride today without the amusement park. I can tell you it is no fun.
I got the most unexpected phone call this morning while visiting my friend Jesse and her new little princess Isabella. One moment, I am enjoying being with Jesse and Ella, (new babies are the sweetest things, and this one and her mama are both cuties) the next moment, I am thrown into an emotional tailspin.
My cell phone rings, and the lady says "Hi...blah, blah, blah, I am calling about your surgery scheduled for October 21st, I am like what do you mean the 21st." She said, "Oh yeah, your surgery date on the 4th is not going to work. The equipment we need is already checked out and we can't coordinate any of the doctors schedules, until the 21st."
Instant emotions flared up at that moment. Disbelief, disappointment, anger, tears, sadness....
The thought of having this cancer grow inside of me for another 17 days past the original surgery date, was almost more than I could bare to think about.
There has been so much planning on my part, my families part, my neighbors part. It really pissed me off to think that they thought it would be ok to change the date and extend the time out by that much....
I won't go into everything, but I made it clear that getting my surgery done ASAP, was my first priority.
One of my quotes's to the scheduler..."I don't mean to be blunt, but I have breast cancer, I have 3 little boys, that need me. I need to get this CANCER out of me as soon as possible. Please tell me now, if I need to go to another hospital that can take care of this quicker than you guys." She then told me not make any childcare changes until she got back to me before the days end.
Fast forward, 4 hours. Voila', I have a new surgery date of October 3rd, a day earlier than my original date.
I guess there is something to be said for being assertive when it comes to your health and well being. (I really hope that the two staff members, I talked to today, don't red flag my chart as me being a total b:=#$, but again I think I was on the brink of a freak out.) Medication is looking better and better all the time.
Thankfully, Uncle Eric was able to get the day off on Monday to be with the boys. Knowing that he will be here with them when they wake up, is a huge relief.
I am still irritated as I type...I need to go breathe somewhere quietly for 20 minutes and I know I will be ok.
Much love....
I got the most unexpected phone call this morning while visiting my friend Jesse and her new little princess Isabella. One moment, I am enjoying being with Jesse and Ella, (new babies are the sweetest things, and this one and her mama are both cuties) the next moment, I am thrown into an emotional tailspin.
My cell phone rings, and the lady says "Hi...blah, blah, blah, I am calling about your surgery scheduled for October 21st, I am like what do you mean the 21st." She said, "Oh yeah, your surgery date on the 4th is not going to work. The equipment we need is already checked out and we can't coordinate any of the doctors schedules, until the 21st."
Instant emotions flared up at that moment. Disbelief, disappointment, anger, tears, sadness....
The thought of having this cancer grow inside of me for another 17 days past the original surgery date, was almost more than I could bare to think about.
There has been so much planning on my part, my families part, my neighbors part. It really pissed me off to think that they thought it would be ok to change the date and extend the time out by that much....
I won't go into everything, but I made it clear that getting my surgery done ASAP, was my first priority.
One of my quotes's to the scheduler..."I don't mean to be blunt, but I have breast cancer, I have 3 little boys, that need me. I need to get this CANCER out of me as soon as possible. Please tell me now, if I need to go to another hospital that can take care of this quicker than you guys." She then told me not make any childcare changes until she got back to me before the days end.
Fast forward, 4 hours. Voila', I have a new surgery date of October 3rd, a day earlier than my original date.
I guess there is something to be said for being assertive when it comes to your health and well being. (I really hope that the two staff members, I talked to today, don't red flag my chart as me being a total b:=#$, but again I think I was on the brink of a freak out.) Medication is looking better and better all the time.
Thankfully, Uncle Eric was able to get the day off on Monday to be with the boys. Knowing that he will be here with them when they wake up, is a huge relief.
I am still irritated as I type...I need to go breathe somewhere quietly for 20 minutes and I know I will be ok.
Much love....
Sunday, September 25, 2011
You know how they say you gotta feed a cold?
My grandma always said, you gotta feed a cold, and starve a fever. (I could have that backwards)
Anyway, to the point of this post.
You gotta feed the cancer in my case. I just wanted to say thank you to the ones that making some my favorite foods. Yall, are going to fatten me up, and I have to be in Kelly's wedding next week and fit in my dress. But after that, it will be on like donkey kong!
Tui, thank you for keeping me well stocked with Pad Thai and chicken and rice soup.
Lois, your chicken noodle soup was AWESOME, and I want the recipe, but the only thing Jim will tell me is that it was made with love :)
Missy, you obviously know the way to my heart with your chicken pastry. I love it!
Donna, is making chili today, that I am lucky enough to eat! Good stuff! I can't wait until radiation starts and I get to cash in on her mom's meatballs and her pasta shells :)
Thank you to Sara K, Louanne, and Tracy for keeping me in sweet treats.
I have already heard from some of you, that yall will be making me some of my favorite things, once I start radiation. With all the yummies, it sounds like I am headed for at least a 10 lb weight gain.
On a side note, Sara K is my liason throughout this :) She is my cruise ship director if you will, of my certain needs. Childcare, meals etc.
http://www.caringcalendar.org/
logon equal 86397
code 3840
Much love and hugs!
Anyway, to the point of this post.
You gotta feed the cancer in my case. I just wanted to say thank you to the ones that making some my favorite foods. Yall, are going to fatten me up, and I have to be in Kelly's wedding next week and fit in my dress. But after that, it will be on like donkey kong!
Tui, thank you for keeping me well stocked with Pad Thai and chicken and rice soup.
Lois, your chicken noodle soup was AWESOME, and I want the recipe, but the only thing Jim will tell me is that it was made with love :)
Missy, you obviously know the way to my heart with your chicken pastry. I love it!
Donna, is making chili today, that I am lucky enough to eat! Good stuff! I can't wait until radiation starts and I get to cash in on her mom's meatballs and her pasta shells :)
Thank you to Sara K, Louanne, and Tracy for keeping me in sweet treats.
I have already heard from some of you, that yall will be making me some of my favorite things, once I start radiation. With all the yummies, it sounds like I am headed for at least a 10 lb weight gain.
On a side note, Sara K is my liason throughout this :) She is my cruise ship director if you will, of my certain needs. Childcare, meals etc.
http://www.caringcalendar.org/
logon equal 86397
code 3840
Much love and hugs!
I think I might be nesting
I CANNOT tell you how many times I have to tell the boys to clean up something. They just assume to walk on it, than even step over most of the stuff that gets left laying around. Yes, those three cuties could be ALL be named messy Marvins...
I am VERY appreciative of my friends Mama Kathleen and Michelle, who came over and help me do a huge bulk of the organization that was needed here. Kathleen and I did a HURTING on the boys rooms. Seven bags of toys to goodwill, three to the dump, two bags of clothes to give away, and a big ol pile of toys to give away to two of my favorite four year old twins, Cole and Dalton.
Michelle took more of the more public part of the house and help me with the kitchen, dining, my bedroom, and get this MY CLOSET...we were both sweating by the end of it. She did gain a few new piece's from Marsha'sCloset, so I hope that was payment enough.
I know that my house will be invaded with all the good friends and family that will be here to visit and bring me yummies, which is a completely different post.
I just ask please pick up the sock or the nerf bullet that I know you will have to step over to get to me.
Much love!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
My life on paper as a diagram...
I met my new Oncologist today, I have to say I like the man. I like the way he approaches things, I mean the man diagramed my treatment plan on graph paper. That almost equals immediate love. He layed the facts out very clearly.
The man point blank told me I did not need a M, and after looking at all the "GOOD" things about my cancer I am going to trust and go along with what he has to say. He is the expert. I feel good about my decision.
With that being said, I am going for the Lumpectomy with a to go order of radiation. He is not sure if I will need chemo as of yet, until my sentinal node biopsy of my lymph nodes has been done, which will be done during surgery. Once that biopsy is back and whether that is negative or positive that will lead the way down my treatment path.
Treatment Path A
A negative SNB will then mean I need a Oncogenes testing to test for the genes that cause cancer
If my Oncogene testing is negative then that means No Chemo (hooray) and then I will begin Radiation therapy, and hormone therapy. This testing takes about 2 weeks to get back.
If my Oncogene testing is positive then that means Yes to Chemo (booooo), and then Radiation, and then hormone therapy.
Treatment Path B
A positive SNB will equal chemo + radiation + hormonal agent. (because this means I have cancer in my lymph nodes)
So at the very least, I am going to be doing radiation and hormones.
Sorry to bore you with all the medical stuff, but seriously if I get it our here for yall to read, yall are more informed when I see or talk to yall.
Bright points of the day. Dr Wehbie said that if he were going to choose a breast cancer to have, that mine would be the one to have. He is very positive that this will go away and I wil be just fine. He also felt like that a Mastectomy was not necessary for me. I think he was trying to tell me that Buffy although she is a cancer, she was a runt of one, and that a lumpectomy would serve me fine.
Another highlight of the day, he had a needlepoint framed pic on the wall that was made by a Paula Vick from Nash County, I thought that was pretty funny that Nash County was being represented in the Rex Cancer Center of Wakefield :) Any of my RM peeps know her?
He also made a MC's List
And it was filled with "positive" things concerning Buffy. She is - HER2 (medical jargon, for I am negative for fast growing cancer cells receptors, when I was tested)
I am also ER positive (which means my estrogen receptors will respond to meds to block cancer growing cells). My actual tumor is small.
I know that we all have stories of friends with breast cancer and the different choices they made. For me and my story, I am choosing the lumpectomy and I am pretty sure things are going to be just fine. I appreciate the support, and everyone's love and friendship.
Surgery is scheduled for 10/4
Follow up with Dr Wehbie on 10/12 so I can find out my treatment plan.
The man point blank told me I did not need a M, and after looking at all the "GOOD" things about my cancer I am going to trust and go along with what he has to say. He is the expert. I feel good about my decision.
With that being said, I am going for the Lumpectomy with a to go order of radiation. He is not sure if I will need chemo as of yet, until my sentinal node biopsy of my lymph nodes has been done, which will be done during surgery. Once that biopsy is back and whether that is negative or positive that will lead the way down my treatment path.
Treatment Path A
A negative SNB will then mean I need a Oncogenes testing to test for the genes that cause cancer
If my Oncogene testing is negative then that means No Chemo (hooray) and then I will begin Radiation therapy, and hormone therapy. This testing takes about 2 weeks to get back.
If my Oncogene testing is positive then that means Yes to Chemo (booooo), and then Radiation, and then hormone therapy.
Treatment Path B
A positive SNB will equal chemo + radiation + hormonal agent. (because this means I have cancer in my lymph nodes)
So at the very least, I am going to be doing radiation and hormones.
Sorry to bore you with all the medical stuff, but seriously if I get it our here for yall to read, yall are more informed when I see or talk to yall.
Bright points of the day. Dr Wehbie said that if he were going to choose a breast cancer to have, that mine would be the one to have. He is very positive that this will go away and I wil be just fine. He also felt like that a Mastectomy was not necessary for me. I think he was trying to tell me that Buffy although she is a cancer, she was a runt of one, and that a lumpectomy would serve me fine.
Another highlight of the day, he had a needlepoint framed pic on the wall that was made by a Paula Vick from Nash County, I thought that was pretty funny that Nash County was being represented in the Rex Cancer Center of Wakefield :) Any of my RM peeps know her?
He also made a MC's List
And it was filled with "positive" things concerning Buffy. She is - HER2 (medical jargon, for I am negative for fast growing cancer cells receptors, when I was tested)
I am also ER positive (which means my estrogen receptors will respond to meds to block cancer growing cells). My actual tumor is small.
I know that we all have stories of friends with breast cancer and the different choices they made. For me and my story, I am choosing the lumpectomy and I am pretty sure things are going to be just fine. I appreciate the support, and everyone's love and friendship.
Surgery is scheduled for 10/4
Follow up with Dr Wehbie on 10/12 so I can find out my treatment plan.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I most likely have a hot date on 10/4
Hi all,
Just left my surgeons office, and no decisions were made as far as L vs M. I look forward to meeting my new O doc tomorrow so he can give me the low down. We all know that cancer is bad and ugly, I am waiting on some more good!
I am so totally confused on which way to go.
Really, everybody is telling me to do the M, and I GET that but DAMN, when you are faced with that, and really FACED with that. Its a BIG deal.
I am researching like you people know I do, and it looks like the outcomes are very similiar for both procedures for the reoccurance of cancer. So then the question becomes? 6 weeks of radiation and a side of chemo? and being able to be more of a part of the family during that time...
Or 4 to 6 weeks of harder surgery recovery with a side of chemo with a smaller increased chance of reoccurance? And becoming even better friends with my pillow, and catching up on my 75 DVR'ed shows that are waiting for me. Which equates to aboutt 30 hrs of Gordon Ramsey watching :)
So, I have a tentative surgery date for 10/4 (good buddy) for either procedure, and if I decide on a M, I am going to try to have the reconstruction done all in one fail swoop. I will make a decision, after talking to the O doc t/m.
Later friends!
Just left my surgeons office, and no decisions were made as far as L vs M. I look forward to meeting my new O doc tomorrow so he can give me the low down. We all know that cancer is bad and ugly, I am waiting on some more good!
I am so totally confused on which way to go.
Really, everybody is telling me to do the M, and I GET that but DAMN, when you are faced with that, and really FACED with that. Its a BIG deal.
I am researching like you people know I do, and it looks like the outcomes are very similiar for both procedures for the reoccurance of cancer. So then the question becomes? 6 weeks of radiation and a side of chemo? and being able to be more of a part of the family during that time...
Or 4 to 6 weeks of harder surgery recovery with a side of chemo with a smaller increased chance of reoccurance? And becoming even better friends with my pillow, and catching up on my 75 DVR'ed shows that are waiting for me. Which equates to aboutt 30 hrs of Gordon Ramsey watching :)
So, I have a tentative surgery date for 10/4 (good buddy) for either procedure, and if I decide on a M, I am going to try to have the reconstruction done all in one fail swoop. I will make a decision, after talking to the O doc t/m.
Later friends!
The six words you want to hear when you have breast cancer..
And those words are....Marsha, your cancer is Stage I. So in the cancer world, hearing the words Stage I is a pretty big relief. (My official diagnosis is, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with DCIS, Stage I.)
I am a major numbers person. I have friends that call me RainWoman for that very reason. So here is the breakdown for my fellow number lovers :)
I hope I am not breaking any laws, but I got the below information from a certain, Breast Cancer for Dummies book....(another fact, I love to buy a book for any reason.)
"If you've been diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer, your chances of survival are wonderful. They're 98 percent, which means that 98 percent of the women with this diagnosis have survived at least five years......I know the fear doesn't go away instantly, but at least you know that your odds of beating this disease is extremely high."
So let's everyone go step outside and do a little happy dance for me, because that is pretty kick butt news!
I have a few decisions to make. The options really put me between a rock and a hard place.
Option 1 Breast conservation therapy
This entails a lumpectomy, better recovery time. Add in 6 weeks of radiation and chemo and I will be on my way. Risks as per the doc that she mentioned were breast deformity.
Option 2 Mastectomy
This entails the obvious (not really sure I have to spell everything out for yall) and the probability of me having to do radiation is unlikely, but chemo will be a must.
My regular doctor called me yesterday, and we talked for a while. I, of course, was being me bombarding him with the, WTH do I do questions. He told me that when I see my surgeon on Wednesday, (today) NOT to make any decisions, until I talked to my Oncologist on Thursday. He told me I will like the O doc, because is in a very statistical person, and he has a awesome bedside manner, and I am the kind of person that needs that.
I also told Dr Cefalu, my family practice doctor, that I probably need him to call Dr Wehbie, my new oncologist, I want Dr W to hear from Dr C that I am on no MEDS whatsoever, and that I am QUITE sane, and that my personality is all ME and not drug induced, lol! It is pretty safe to say, that I have quite a personality, that I THINK most people find charming :) But I sure don't want this new doc, not to get me, my personality, or my jokes, or my sometimes unlady like pottymoutth....Dr C thinks I will be just fine with Dr W, which is why he chose him for me....
So, I know that most of you are behind me with whatever I decide, and I have heard from lots that Option 2 would be what you would decide. I appreciate all the advice yall are giving me, because EACH and EVERYONE of you bring different something to the table. Which may make me think about things I would not have thought about......
Much love people!
Also, for whatever reason, I can't comment on your post replies. Laney, my blog tutor should be coming over today, and teach me what to do. I may need to create a google account, which I am going to try now. So, I am reading your responses, I just can't let you know that I am :)
I am a major numbers person. I have friends that call me RainWoman for that very reason. So here is the breakdown for my fellow number lovers :)
I hope I am not breaking any laws, but I got the below information from a certain, Breast Cancer for Dummies book....(another fact, I love to buy a book for any reason.)
"If you've been diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer, your chances of survival are wonderful. They're 98 percent, which means that 98 percent of the women with this diagnosis have survived at least five years......I know the fear doesn't go away instantly, but at least you know that your odds of beating this disease is extremely high."
So let's everyone go step outside and do a little happy dance for me, because that is pretty kick butt news!
I have a few decisions to make. The options really put me between a rock and a hard place.
Option 1 Breast conservation therapy
This entails a lumpectomy, better recovery time. Add in 6 weeks of radiation and chemo and I will be on my way. Risks as per the doc that she mentioned were breast deformity.
Option 2 Mastectomy
This entails the obvious (not really sure I have to spell everything out for yall) and the probability of me having to do radiation is unlikely, but chemo will be a must.
My regular doctor called me yesterday, and we talked for a while. I, of course, was being me bombarding him with the, WTH do I do questions. He told me that when I see my surgeon on Wednesday, (today) NOT to make any decisions, until I talked to my Oncologist on Thursday. He told me I will like the O doc, because is in a very statistical person, and he has a awesome bedside manner, and I am the kind of person that needs that.
I also told Dr Cefalu, my family practice doctor, that I probably need him to call Dr Wehbie, my new oncologist, I want Dr W to hear from Dr C that I am on no MEDS whatsoever, and that I am QUITE sane, and that my personality is all ME and not drug induced, lol! It is pretty safe to say, that I have quite a personality, that I THINK most people find charming :) But I sure don't want this new doc, not to get me, my personality, or my jokes, or my sometimes unlady like pottymoutth....Dr C thinks I will be just fine with Dr W, which is why he chose him for me....
So, I know that most of you are behind me with whatever I decide, and I have heard from lots that Option 2 would be what you would decide. I appreciate all the advice yall are giving me, because EACH and EVERYONE of you bring different something to the table. Which may make me think about things I would not have thought about......
Much love people!
Also, for whatever reason, I can't comment on your post replies. Laney, my blog tutor should be coming over today, and teach me what to do. I may need to create a google account, which I am going to try now. So, I am reading your responses, I just can't let you know that I am :)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
To phone or not to phone that is the ?
My biopsy was performed this past Thursday, and the results were supposed to be back yesterday at 12:30. These results will let me know what stage I am, and what kind of treatment plan I will be doing. (And for those that know me well, know that I buy a book for everything, so I am waiting for my "stage" to be determined, so I can start studing and be very educated and well versed with it comes to what it is that they plan on doing to my body! I bought the Breast Cancer for Dummies, book. LOL) Those authors have a book for everything!
SO back to the real point of this post....
Around 3pm yesterday, I left messages with my surgeon and my oncologist, asking them to hunt them down. I am still UNPATIENTLY waiting. I don't want to start out being a PITA for these new docs of mine, so I will continue to wait, and wait, and wait....
But the kids are keeping me up to my earlobes with stuff to do, so I guess I need to get over it. At the very least, I will find out tomorrow the results with my surgeon. Have a good day, and I am thinking that since there is no changing the diagnosis, that it would not be too much to ask for Stage 0....
SO back to the real point of this post....
Around 3pm yesterday, I left messages with my surgeon and my oncologist, asking them to hunt them down. I am still UNPATIENTLY waiting. I don't want to start out being a PITA for these new docs of mine, so I will continue to wait, and wait, and wait....
But the kids are keeping me up to my earlobes with stuff to do, so I guess I need to get over it. At the very least, I will find out tomorrow the results with my surgeon. Have a good day, and I am thinking that since there is no changing the diagnosis, that it would not be too much to ask for Stage 0....
Monday, September 19, 2011
The demands of the funny girl with cancer
The very first thing I did when I got done with my appts on that first "cancer" day, was to have my friend Michelle B take me to Bed, Bath, and Beyond so I could get high thread count sheets and the down comforter and duvet cover I have been wanting but had not wanted to spend the money on :) If I am going to be sick, I am going to be laying around in awesome sheets is all I got to say.
Another OBNOXIOUS thing, that I am requiring of all of my friends, is to buy me new pjs, because again, if I am going to be sick I am going to be looking pretty. (NO pink please, I hate that color. Which I think it is unfair to me that I get the cancer with the PINK awareness ribbon, uggghhhh)
Also, I have asked my very crafty friend Angela R to bedazzle me a trash can, so I can have something pretty to throw up in :)
I will let you guys know if there is a need for a head shaving party and new boob size party at some point. MUCH LOVE!
Another OBNOXIOUS thing, that I am requiring of all of my friends, is to buy me new pjs, because again, if I am going to be sick I am going to be looking pretty. (NO pink please, I hate that color. Which I think it is unfair to me that I get the cancer with the PINK awareness ribbon, uggghhhh)
Also, I have asked my very crafty friend Angela R to bedazzle me a trash can, so I can have something pretty to throw up in :)
I will let you guys know if there is a need for a head shaving party and new boob size party at some point. MUCH LOVE!
So this is my first official blog post....bear with me!
Hey friends and family,
Here is my story and this will be my continuing story of my life with breast cancer....Some of you may have heard this story already, but I thought I should start at the beginning, some parts and my ramblings will be left out so I don't bore yall.
On August 29th, 2011 I was scheduled to have a routine Pap Smear with my OB/GYN doctor. I got there on time, and had to wait at least 45 minutes to see my doctor. Once, I saw my doctor. He pretty much told me that since I had had a Pap Smear the previous year, that I was not due for one for another two years. Apparently, my age group only requires paps every 3 years. I was like, "dude, I shaved and freshened up for you." "You gotta do something so I don't feel like I am wasting my time." He laughed and we kept chatting. I was like, no really do something. I asked him to refer me to get a baseline mammogram. He was like, Marsha you don't need it. You are 37, you have no risk factors, etc, etc. I told him I would feel better if I got something out of the appointment, because I felt like I had wasted my time that morning. He gives me a referral sheet, tells me not to rush. I immediately go home and make a call, and get an appt for that Thursday. Let me just say, I am not a hypochondriac, I just was trying to be productive. I have my mammo on that Thursday. I get called the following Tuesday, because they saw "shadows" . I was asked to come back in Sept 8th. The Rad tech who was so much fun the first appointment was with me the 2nd one. I could tell she knew something was not right. I asked her what the hell was wrong and why was everyone being so serious with me. She told me that their was a "nasty" looking nodule on my film and we needed to figure it out what it was. Repeat mammo done. First ultrasound done that day. My US tech was not nearly as fun as Jenny my mammo girl. I saw the nodule on the screen, and asked for the measurements, and she told me pretty quickly that she would not be able to tell me one thing. (I knew she was covering her butt, but seriously I worked in a hospital for 12 years, I knew that nodule was not pretty.) Fast forward 10 minutes, the doctor comes in. I asked what he saw when he looks at my US, he said a nodule. I then asked, OK, in your experience what does that kind of nodule usually mean. And he said ever so seriously, Marsha it means you have cancer. I was not expecting that at all. I was by myself and the only thing keeping me from freaking out was the piece of gum I was chewing with all of my might to keep myself together. That C word is UGLY, and as a person that has heard it 3 times too many, I think I have had enough of it in my life. So, I then asked him in his experience what percent chance he thought I had cancer without a biopsy. He told me I was putting him up against a wall, I told him I just wanted to know what I was facing. I asked him was it like a 75% chance? He then again in his serious voice and face, said No Marsha, it much higher than that. So I am what they call a Category 5 on the BIRADS scale, which means a greater than 95% chance of malignancy. I have had 5 doctors look at my films within that first week, and they all concur that yes indeed, I have breast cancer. It is a lovely 15 x 10 x 8 mm nodule, which is considered big. I have had too many appointments and other things go on. But of note, my family practice doc helped me pick my oncologist out last week. My Gyn picked out my surgeon, so I hope I am in good hands. I had a Stereotactic biopsy done last Thursday, the results were suppose to be in today. I have not heard anything from that. I have an appt with my surgeon this upcoming Wednesday, and I have an appt with my oncologist this Thursday. I am pretty sure, I will KNOW exactly what I am in store for after those appts.
Here is my story and this will be my continuing story of my life with breast cancer....Some of you may have heard this story already, but I thought I should start at the beginning, some parts and my ramblings will be left out so I don't bore yall.
On August 29th, 2011 I was scheduled to have a routine Pap Smear with my OB/GYN doctor. I got there on time, and had to wait at least 45 minutes to see my doctor. Once, I saw my doctor. He pretty much told me that since I had had a Pap Smear the previous year, that I was not due for one for another two years. Apparently, my age group only requires paps every 3 years. I was like, "dude, I shaved and freshened up for you." "You gotta do something so I don't feel like I am wasting my time." He laughed and we kept chatting. I was like, no really do something. I asked him to refer me to get a baseline mammogram. He was like, Marsha you don't need it. You are 37, you have no risk factors, etc, etc. I told him I would feel better if I got something out of the appointment, because I felt like I had wasted my time that morning. He gives me a referral sheet, tells me not to rush. I immediately go home and make a call, and get an appt for that Thursday. Let me just say, I am not a hypochondriac, I just was trying to be productive. I have my mammo on that Thursday. I get called the following Tuesday, because they saw "shadows" . I was asked to come back in Sept 8th. The Rad tech who was so much fun the first appointment was with me the 2nd one. I could tell she knew something was not right. I asked her what the hell was wrong and why was everyone being so serious with me. She told me that their was a "nasty" looking nodule on my film and we needed to figure it out what it was. Repeat mammo done. First ultrasound done that day. My US tech was not nearly as fun as Jenny my mammo girl. I saw the nodule on the screen, and asked for the measurements, and she told me pretty quickly that she would not be able to tell me one thing. (I knew she was covering her butt, but seriously I worked in a hospital for 12 years, I knew that nodule was not pretty.) Fast forward 10 minutes, the doctor comes in. I asked what he saw when he looks at my US, he said a nodule. I then asked, OK, in your experience what does that kind of nodule usually mean. And he said ever so seriously, Marsha it means you have cancer. I was not expecting that at all. I was by myself and the only thing keeping me from freaking out was the piece of gum I was chewing with all of my might to keep myself together. That C word is UGLY, and as a person that has heard it 3 times too many, I think I have had enough of it in my life. So, I then asked him in his experience what percent chance he thought I had cancer without a biopsy. He told me I was putting him up against a wall, I told him I just wanted to know what I was facing. I asked him was it like a 75% chance? He then again in his serious voice and face, said No Marsha, it much higher than that. So I am what they call a Category 5 on the BIRADS scale, which means a greater than 95% chance of malignancy. I have had 5 doctors look at my films within that first week, and they all concur that yes indeed, I have breast cancer. It is a lovely 15 x 10 x 8 mm nodule, which is considered big. I have had too many appointments and other things go on. But of note, my family practice doc helped me pick my oncologist out last week. My Gyn picked out my surgeon, so I hope I am in good hands. I had a Stereotactic biopsy done last Thursday, the results were suppose to be in today. I have not heard anything from that. I have an appt with my surgeon this upcoming Wednesday, and I have an appt with my oncologist this Thursday. I am pretty sure, I will KNOW exactly what I am in store for after those appts.
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