radiation, castrations, and tattoo's

So I just finished my 21st radiation.  Only 4 more to go!  Radiation has not been too bad, I can definitely tell I am more tired and I do have some burns, but overall I have gotten thru it pretty unscathed.  Let's hope that after it's done, my heart and my lungs can say the same thing.  The doctor's are pretty sure, I am going to suffer some sort of heart damage from this.  Again, damn!  But what can I do? 
Radiation was one of those things that was not too terrible bad, I did learn not to drink copious amounts of caffiene before going, because you are suppose to lay still for about 15 minutes during your treatment.  I have a hard enough time doing that without an extra 200 mg of caffiene on board.

I also got my radiation tattoos today.  Very simply, they are 5 small dots where the radiation has been "aimed."  They were my first tattoo's without a cocktail on board, LOL.  Unless you count the 2 diet pepsi's I had before I got there.  My radiation guy, Ty said he was going tattoo his name in braille to match my hero braille tattoo I have for Braeden on my foot...yeahhhhh, ummmm NO!  Lol.

So after radiation, we begin a new chapter.  I had a pretty intense doctor consult yesterday with 2 GYN oncologists.  Those guys were straight up and to the point.  I appreciate that quality.  I appreciate the honest answers to my many questions. Most of my questions are what most people would ask, I think.
The whole consult lasted about an hour and a half.  The doctors were super nice, and we definitely clicked with our personalities.  Below is part of our conversation.  We covered much information yesterday, that I can't remember everything.  I need to buy a book, because yall know I buy a book
for everything.

Me: How am I going to feel after I get my ovaries out?

Doc: You are going to feel like crap.

Me: In what way?

Doc: mood swings, fatigue, hot flashes, etc etc

Me: Why can't you treat my symptoms?

Doc: Your problems will be because of lack of hormones, and we can't give you hormones.

Me: Can't you give me bio-identical hormones?

Doc: No, they are not FDA approved.

Me: DAMN

Doc: We need to start your medical castration. 

ME:  Oh hell, that sounds rough.

Doc: Yeah, it's not going to be fun.  But we will try to keep you comfortable.  We can give you a drug called effexor for the hot flashes you will experience.  Which alot of people complain about.

Me: Isn't that an antidepressant?

Doc; Yes, but it can also help.

Me: I am going to need an antidepressant by the time yall get done with me.

Doc: Yep, probably.  We are going to slam the breaks on your body.

Me:  Sounds fun...

Doc: Yes and it will suck.

Me: (chanting to myself----big picture, look at big picture, Braeden, Braxton, Chase, big picture)

For me, some of things were very hard to hear.  I told these docs yesterday, that I was too young to feel like crap everyday.   

They were not very encouraging as to what I would be going thru physically once I start the new medicines, and then once I have my ovaries and hysterectomy done. 

I told them I kicked some Chemo and Radiation butt, that maybe I would get thru this part of it with very little symptoms..Let's hope so. 

I start the medicine in 2 weeks that will start putting the breaks on my hormones.

We are planning for October for the surgeries to be done.  (I want to have my summer off, from any kind of major medical procedures)

I have one diagnostic test called a CA 125 that is pending, and if that result comes back wacky, we will have to move those surgeries up.  (Keep in mind, BRCA2 carriers have up to a 20 to 40% chance of getting ovarian cancer.  Also note, that ovarian cancer is very hard to fight and beat.  So yes, the big picture is getting my ovaries out to keep me safe.)

Peace & Love & FTP