So in case you didn't know, I have a big week coming up next week. My double mastectomy and lymph node surgery along with the start of my reconstruction is next Thursday March 1st. I have not made final decisions on what reconstruction path, I am going to take. Tissue vs Implants. My plastic surgeon wants to wait till after radiation to make final decision.
He did ask how big I wanted to go. I told him about my same size I am now, I told him I wanted people to ask me for my number and not his when they looked at me. Bart and the doc just shook their heads laughing..haha
I am busy trying to get the house in order, which for some apparent reason involved me cleaning out my closet, (luckily for me, I was able to find some cute stuff at Loft this week, since my closet felt so empty :) Finding people to cart my kids around to sports...thank you to Tui, Tracy, and Michelle! We will definitely need your "taxi" services! (Oh and Tui, I need your Pad Thai, too)
And of course, the BIGGEST god send of all, Uncle Eric coming to stay with us on Wednesday and staying thru Monday.
My kids track out on Friday the day after surgery, this is a complete stress in itself. But I know it will all work out.
I have been asked several times how I feel about the surgery. I honestly have not put that much thought into it. I stay busy and on the go all the time with these boys of mine.
When Braeden was in the hospital with his brain surgeries, I started crocheting him a blanket. It was great therapy, it really takes your mind off of your worries. I still have it in my drawer, I haven't picked it up since. At best it is a oversized scarf or an undersized shawl.
I have started my own blanket, and I swear to you I think it has kept me from over obsessing about my surgery and recovery...
But as it sits right now, my thought process is....these boobs of mine are the cause my cancer, they need to be gone, so they never have the chance of threatening my life again.....some women are attached to their body parts, I am pretty attached to my life....
Much love good people!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Chemotherapy 11/1/11 thru 1/25/12 RIP
Hi all!
I hope everything is going great for you all! I actually had an unexpected "surprise of sorts" today. I will tell y'all about it.
But first, I have had a few people to ask me about why I don't blog more. I really don't want to be "the cancer chick", I am so much more than that, so I only try to blog up here when something new is going on. I have such a busy life above and beyond this whole cancer thing, and when Buffy is not slowing me down, I am living my life very happily with my family and friends. I also really try hard not to make my FB cancer central. I will try to do a better job of blogging!
Today was suppose to be my last day of Chemo. I was super excited and so glad that this chapter of the journey was almost over. I was wearing my new t-shirt from Sara K that says, HOPE, FIGHT, CURE! I was also wearing a super cute new bandana (it has owls on it lol, I am such a girl!!!) that my friend Michelle B made me just for today :) And as always my Chemo Sucks button from Tracy and Lisa :)
My friend Angela has said, when she visits me over there in the chemo room the other patients are sad, sad, sad, and then you get to my chair and its happy. I always wear some sort of gift that someone has given me, and it truly does make me smile and makes me feel like yall are there in spirit. I also have a "shrine" of gifts on my dresser that I look at everyday. I have all of the cards you have sent, which I read all the time. Never underestimate the power of a greeting card :)
You people are sooooo special! I know that I am cheesy, but it is the same way with all of the pajama gifts. I am getting hugs from yall each time I wear a pair :) I am going to become a volunteer when this is all said and done. I loved geriactrics when I worked at the hospital. I could make me some friends in that Chemo clinic and hopefully make a difference.
So on to my day...
I get the usual stuff done, port access, bloodwork, etc. It seems like it will be my normal 9hr day at Duke.
My doctor comes in and we are chatting it up, and she asks about my neuropathy. I told her that the last time that it actually was in both hands and both feet which was new. (This is the numbness in my hands and feet) I told her I felt like it was manageable. I only suffered after the last chemo for about 4 days.
We did more chatting...
She asks about my memory and if anything had changed...Lightbulb goes off. Why yes, there has been a few things. They all seem very simple but when you put them together they were a cause for concern for her.
---Just this week as far as my memory goes, I forgot my bank sign-on which I have had for at least 18years. It took me 3 days at the computer to finally figure it out.
---I also left my wallet at Target on Monday night when I was out shopping, and finally retracked those steps on Tuesday to figure out I had left it there.
---Bart pipes up and then starts giving more examples. I think that most of the examples are normal cases of forgetting stuff, but when you put them all together it was a cause of concern for Dr K. I am also really good with numbers which makes the whole bank account thing strange.
I asked her if I could do the remaining chemo today. I was worried about the potential cells that could be still left behind, and if we didn't kill them...then what?
She basically said that my treatment regimen (remember, they pounded me harded with my chemo and more often than a normal breast cancer patient) probably could have gotten the job done in 4 treatments, and that going for treatment number 8 was not going to make a difference CONSIDERING that if I went for treatment 8 if could be what tips me over the edge into and I quote, "going from not remembering your bank number to not know where your kids school is."
That pretty much sold me....The neuropathy and the memory issues are all potentially irreverisible.
Next step is starting surgeries. She wants me to get in ASAP with my surgeon to schedule the actual surgery. My surgeon was out of town today, so I will know more hopefully tomorrow. I am hoping for to get in on the 15th to schedule and with the expection that surgeries will be done hopefully sometime during the week of Feb 20th or the next week. If I can't get in with my surgeon on the 15th, I actually have an appt with her on the 21st that I had schedule a long time ago, so that appt is not too much further out than the 15th if I can't get in that day.
I really don't have a long time to sit around and think about my surgeries and recovery. I know that I am in for some pain, and some more pain. But I am so ready to get this part started. Every chapter is getting me back to being normal. My doc today said, it would be a new normal for me, but I am going to disagree with that statement. I am hoping all of this does not change me, and if it does it will be for the better.
Another exciting thing is that my hair should start growing back in a few weeks! I saw a pic on Pinterest a few weeks ago where a girl took a picture every week of her hair when it was growing in. I plan on doing this, I thought it was pretty cool. Its on my Facebook page somewhere...
My new t-shirt idea for when my hair is in the bad stages of growing in....NO, this is not a bad haircut, I have Cancer!
My t-shirt I want to get now...If you are going to stare at me at least smile, I can and I have cancer :)
I get so many stares everywhere I go. Whether they are meant to be stares or not. Maybe it's because I am young, or maybe because the BBC team are usually with me, and they are like that poor chick has 3 little ones and the big C. Just smile if you are going to stare, geez! It's a good thing I can handle it. I usually just smile bigger!!!
Have a good night good people!
XOXO!
Marsha
I hope everything is going great for you all! I actually had an unexpected "surprise of sorts" today. I will tell y'all about it.
But first, I have had a few people to ask me about why I don't blog more. I really don't want to be "the cancer chick", I am so much more than that, so I only try to blog up here when something new is going on. I have such a busy life above and beyond this whole cancer thing, and when Buffy is not slowing me down, I am living my life very happily with my family and friends. I also really try hard not to make my FB cancer central. I will try to do a better job of blogging!
Today was suppose to be my last day of Chemo. I was super excited and so glad that this chapter of the journey was almost over. I was wearing my new t-shirt from Sara K that says, HOPE, FIGHT, CURE! I was also wearing a super cute new bandana (it has owls on it lol, I am such a girl!!!) that my friend Michelle B made me just for today :) And as always my Chemo Sucks button from Tracy and Lisa :)
My friend Angela has said, when she visits me over there in the chemo room the other patients are sad, sad, sad, and then you get to my chair and its happy. I always wear some sort of gift that someone has given me, and it truly does make me smile and makes me feel like yall are there in spirit. I also have a "shrine" of gifts on my dresser that I look at everyday. I have all of the cards you have sent, which I read all the time. Never underestimate the power of a greeting card :)
You people are sooooo special! I know that I am cheesy, but it is the same way with all of the pajama gifts. I am getting hugs from yall each time I wear a pair :) I am going to become a volunteer when this is all said and done. I loved geriactrics when I worked at the hospital. I could make me some friends in that Chemo clinic and hopefully make a difference.
So on to my day...
I get the usual stuff done, port access, bloodwork, etc. It seems like it will be my normal 9hr day at Duke.
My doctor comes in and we are chatting it up, and she asks about my neuropathy. I told her that the last time that it actually was in both hands and both feet which was new. (This is the numbness in my hands and feet) I told her I felt like it was manageable. I only suffered after the last chemo for about 4 days.
We did more chatting...
She asks about my memory and if anything had changed...Lightbulb goes off. Why yes, there has been a few things. They all seem very simple but when you put them together they were a cause for concern for her.
---Just this week as far as my memory goes, I forgot my bank sign-on which I have had for at least 18years. It took me 3 days at the computer to finally figure it out.
---I also left my wallet at Target on Monday night when I was out shopping, and finally retracked those steps on Tuesday to figure out I had left it there.
---Bart pipes up and then starts giving more examples. I think that most of the examples are normal cases of forgetting stuff, but when you put them all together it was a cause of concern for Dr K. I am also really good with numbers which makes the whole bank account thing strange.
I asked her if I could do the remaining chemo today. I was worried about the potential cells that could be still left behind, and if we didn't kill them...then what?
She basically said that my treatment regimen (remember, they pounded me harded with my chemo and more often than a normal breast cancer patient) probably could have gotten the job done in 4 treatments, and that going for treatment number 8 was not going to make a difference CONSIDERING that if I went for treatment 8 if could be what tips me over the edge into and I quote, "going from not remembering your bank number to not know where your kids school is."
That pretty much sold me....The neuropathy and the memory issues are all potentially irreverisible.
Next step is starting surgeries. She wants me to get in ASAP with my surgeon to schedule the actual surgery. My surgeon was out of town today, so I will know more hopefully tomorrow. I am hoping for to get in on the 15th to schedule and with the expection that surgeries will be done hopefully sometime during the week of Feb 20th or the next week. If I can't get in with my surgeon on the 15th, I actually have an appt with her on the 21st that I had schedule a long time ago, so that appt is not too much further out than the 15th if I can't get in that day.
I really don't have a long time to sit around and think about my surgeries and recovery. I know that I am in for some pain, and some more pain. But I am so ready to get this part started. Every chapter is getting me back to being normal. My doc today said, it would be a new normal for me, but I am going to disagree with that statement. I am hoping all of this does not change me, and if it does it will be for the better.
Another exciting thing is that my hair should start growing back in a few weeks! I saw a pic on Pinterest a few weeks ago where a girl took a picture every week of her hair when it was growing in. I plan on doing this, I thought it was pretty cool. Its on my Facebook page somewhere...
My new t-shirt idea for when my hair is in the bad stages of growing in....NO, this is not a bad haircut, I have Cancer!
My t-shirt I want to get now...If you are going to stare at me at least smile, I can and I have cancer :)
I get so many stares everywhere I go. Whether they are meant to be stares or not. Maybe it's because I am young, or maybe because the BBC team are usually with me, and they are like that poor chick has 3 little ones and the big C. Just smile if you are going to stare, geez! It's a good thing I can handle it. I usually just smile bigger!!!
Have a good night good people!
XOXO!
Marsha
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